| no
one ever wants to speak to me because i never have anything to say. i keep
coming up with new and inventive ways to say nothing. sometimes i sit for
hours in my room just writing pages and pages of little nothing phrases
to say to unexpecting people who dont care anyway. the world is now a farce.
a joke that we live through. and death is the punchline. haha. I will remain
lonely until the day you die. when you die, i die. when you hurt, i hurt.
when you talk, i dont care. i don't think of you or picture you happy and
by my side. i don't see your face anymore. i talk my nothing-talk and walk
my lonely-man-walk like the slow shuffle of the damned, with a million other
blank faces. this is our aushwitz but we're glad to be here. we walk up
the queue with smiles on our faces as the white soot falls from the sky.
we're the ones that long for death. the sad and empty ones staring at you
from the gutter. licking the dirt from the underside of the pavement. we
welcome death but are too weak to deliver it ourselves. so when that happy
german boy comes along and offers an arm we say "why sure! i'll burn and
be a better person for having done it!" like dogs, panting, scratching.
big droopy stupid eyes filled with both ignorant giddyness and unshakable
melancholy. stepped on like stones in the road with eyes incapable of sight,
only able to shed tear after tear for our wasted existance. we go on forever.
different faces and names but we're all the same person. no one notices
me. i'm a ghost. a shadow. invisible but you can still sense me on you like
smoke. i am ready to implode. |
