The National Bube Meisah

All de Nooz Dats Phit to Print

Your Co-Worker could be a Space Alien by Michael Gorgonzolla Many Americans work side by side with Space Aliens who look Human---but you can spot these visitors by looking for certain tipoffs, say experts. They Listed 12 Signs to look for: 1. Odd or missmatched Clothes: "Often Space Aliens don't fully comprehend style or fasion so when they make combinations of clothes that are wierd or in bad taste, such as an Apple T-shirt with Windows95 Pants and Larry Ellison Tie.", say noted UFO expert Dr. Brad Shaw 2. Strange Diet or Unusual Eating Habits. Space Aliens may eat large quantities of chips or Rancid Butter Batter (which may be blue) with a green pungent sauce. Many Aliens will not eat with humans and can be seen eating lunch in their cars which may be disguised Space Alien Ships. Aliens may eat unusual combinations such as pop-corn with peanut butter or Guacamole Dip. ( a reconstituted 2000 year old Alien Goop from Concentrated Alien Juice) 3. Bizarre sence of Humor. Space Aliens who don't understand Earthly Humor may laugh during Serious Company Presentations or ask intelligent questions. Some times they tell jokes that nobody understands. They may read "Dibert" cartoons during work hours, confusing them with technical journals.

4. Takes Frequent Sick Days. "Space Aliens may need extra time to rejuvenate their Engery Resources," says Dr. Earl Rickart, the noted author of "13 ways to do the Mach O'rena." 5. Keeps Written or Tape recorded Diary. "Aliens are constantly gathering information", says exo-biologist Dr. Karen Davidson, noted author of the exciting CD "Alien nose noises from Novaya Yorka." 6.Misuses everyday items. Frequently Space Aliens are seen using paper clips to construct various unknown devices. Space aliens may eat paper to gain secret knowledge or scotch tape their eyes shut. 7.Constant questioning of co-workers. "Space aliens, who are trying to learn about earth culture may ask stupid questions," Rickart said. 8. Secretive about personal lifestyle or home life. "An Alien won't discuss domestic details or talk aboput what it does on the weekends," says Shaw.

9.Frequently talks to himself or whistles unknown melodies off-key. Aliens cary around secret radio transmitters and can talk or whistle in special code languages. They may be relaying messages to Mother Ships orbiting the Earth or following Comets. 10. Displays a change in mood or physical reation to high tech hardware. "An Alien might experience a change in mood or be affected by a microwave communication or by an ARM based Newton Message Pad," says Rickart. 11. Is particular about colors and can percieve color differences that are invisible to normal humans. "Aliens have a different set of visual pigments and chemo-receptors," says Davidson. 12. Space Aliens may need to go "Swimming" at noon every day to refresh themselves if they come from a water based planet. Experts say that a co-worker would have to display many if not most of these signs to be positively identified as Space People. Please report to the alt.aliens news group and to this web page immediately if you see one.