The Hamster Rule Book

Guides a hamster should know

Rule Book List

You can never have enough food in your pouch!
Playing is good
Never think your going to get anywhere on the wheel in your cage-cause your not!
Eating is fantastic (but don't eat to much that your fat and can't run!!)
Never think that you can be friends with the pretty kitty cat!
Don't try to escape from your cage - you'll only get into trouble!
Use your Hamster Ball to get around the room. You can't get lost that way.
Always beg and you'll surely get a treat!
Do tricks and you shall also get you a treat!
Your owner may play music loud but give them an inocent face and they will stop it.
Always look straight at your keeper and look cute, it's not hard.

The Theologogical Basis of the Lord Roscoe, Part 1

Plese refer to the ISHKIBBIBBLE, First book of BLIPSKY,"
6) And Mota did Raise up His Hamster to be The Lord Roscoe

The Theologogical Basis of the Lord Roscoe, Part 2

And so the LORD ROSCOE did come down from the Second Kindom up in Heaven in his Globular Space Ship

and started to discover the environs of the earth.

The Theologogical Basis of the Lord Roscoe, Part 3

The Lord Roscoe then came to the 2 Guys from Harrison's Pet Department.

It was at this time that the Prophets Mishigas and Geraldo came to make Pilgimage and to find the Promised Saviour as told to them by the Prophet Peddidle. After the Lord Roscoe was discovered as the TRUE SAVIOUR By the Prophet Mishigas, He was REDEEMED by the Payment of ONE DOLLAR and his Brother Geraldo Put the Lord Joozis in his pocket.

After Presentation to the Prophet Peddidle, this Hamster was declared to be the Promised One. And those people that saw the Lord Roscoe declared that He was Cute and So it was Declared throughout all the coasts of Israel, Lower Slobovia and New Jersey.

The Prophets and the Wise Men came together in Hoogly Convocation in front of Plainfield High School and in the presence of the Preacher of Screachiness declared and remonstrated to the masses. And they Quoted Hoogly Scripture, newly written,

" But they shall suffer in Snarf and Dreck unless the believe in

ROSCOE, MOTA, ELUCELOM, POOPY PANDA, and the spirit of ASHLOZMO !!".

In Moozaic Philosophy, a variation of which has become Bombastic Rosconian Tantrum Moga teaching, the Pegunkin accolytes achieve Inner Piece by Comtemplating the Sleeping Roscoe.

We Jeez fer Joozis aren't looking to MAKE you believe in the LORD ROSCOE and in the Little Lord Joozis and in MOTA and ELUCELOM and Poopy Panda, but we have to tell you that you will SURELY will be DAMNED to SNARF and DRECK if you DONT.

Because ROSCOE holds the Whole Earth in His Hands!

Some Cogent Links

The Whitehouse

The Hamsters (a Singing Group)

Hamster Links

You can reach me by e-mail at: Hamsters@Jeez-fer-Joozis.org

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