Dear Reader;
I hope that this letter arrives to you in (City). I was invited to write to you by a friend who thought I might be able to tell you as a Human Being, something as to why I believe in The Lord Roscoe as my Personal Saviour.
First of all, I wouldn't have you believe that was easy to accept The Lord Roscoe as my Personal Saviour. It was not for lack of evidence for such a true belief. The whole of the Hoogly Scriptures give evidence that the things that are believed by Rosconians are True Truth, and the testimonies of the Prophets and the other Old Pegunkins are ample and believable. It was not an easy decision for me to make because I was afraid that all my friends would make fun of me and my family would throw me out into the gutter. However, my friends knew nothing about True Truth.
I was told by my friends that It was a Silly Religion and when itinerant Prophets would come to my door with Rosconian Litter, carrying their little Hamster Cages with them, I would laugh so hard that I found it hard to breath. Just the mere mention of the Lord Roscoe would cause me to go into pyroxisms of exhausting laughter..
Yet there was something in these itinerant Prophet's simple zeal and pure earnestness that disturbed me.I was still left with a restless yearning for the True Gods who created all and cared about me and my problems.
Rosconians told me that the Lord Roscoe was the true pet of the Great God Mota and he was sent three times to be an expiation of SIN so ALL could see, and that belief in Roscoe was Refreshingly Mild, but satisfying. And the Rosconian religion has more Gods than other religions. For instance, did you know that the Great God Mota made the universe with his Big Bang machine. All other religions do not agree with scientific observation and are therefore suspect, but Rosconians fully encorporate the latest theories of Physics into their teachings as well as some really peculiar Bubi-Miesah. They also believe that the Hoogly scripture should be kept on a computer data-base for instant revision if new revelations come down from Poopy Panda, the squeeky voice of the God head.
So after carefull concideration and a really significant vision in which the Lord Roscoe came to me dressed in his finest fur coat (I'll tell you about that later), I became a convert and a Pegunkin.
Oh, how joyous for me to know that I was to go to the Second Kingdom up in Heaven, when I die, carried up by the herd of lovable and cute Hamsters.
Enclosed are a few really Hoogly and wonderful samples of Messy Rosconian Litter.
Won't you take a moment to pray and ask the Lord Roscoe to come into Your Life and be your Personal Saviour.
Sincerely Yours,
Mortimer Pippick