This is a series of questions that we ask all our Pegunkins and Friends to answer.
"I found it to be a pretty unique experience to be present when the procession of the faithful Pegunkins march in singing [Roscoe is our Hamster] and then when they leave they sing [ Swing Low Sweet Hamster Cage]"
" I was looking for a Chapel where the True Faith of the Lord Roscoe was preached, not a bunch of Bullwinkle, and quite frankly, now that I have been a member for 30 years, I realize that all the other religions are Gobolty Gook"
" I was given a pamphlet by the Jeez fer Joozis and they said that if I didn't BELIEVE I would surely go to The Valley of the Moose Turd Patties and Hot Dung Rolls. So I looked around for a TRUE CHAPEL where The Little Lord Joozis was Honored and so I came here to your Chapel"
"I was seeking a Rosconian Chapel close to my home in which I could participate in the Hoogly Service to insure that I would go to Heaven carried by the Herd of Hoogly Hamsters"
" I first came here for the Roscoe Mess service in 1989 with my boy friend. We liked so much that we decided to join. The Rev. McHamster married us in 1990 and now we have two extra Bambino's to take care of"
" We wanted to come to a Chapel where the traditional January 2, 1993 book of common Prayer [ The Roscoe Karaoke] was being used. I didn't like the new fangled March 3, 1993 book of Un-common prayer [ Madrigals for Operatic Voices] that the Chapel across the street was using. We find Pastor McHamster to be very funny and entertaining, even though he is bats, and wears funny hats.
1. The Boiling Borscht. (I never would have thought you would ask). This is symbolic of the primordial soup that existed before the Big Bang. It is also symbolic of The Valley of the Moose Turd Patties where all the DONT BLEEVERS will go if they do not become True Believers in Roscoe.
2. The Poopsies. These are very Hoogly, being relics of Roscoe and because we are all in NEED of SALIVATION they are poured into the Boiling borscht to take our SINS AWAY and to purify our Gizortches.
3. The Old Oaken Hamster Cages. These are symbolic of the Cages of Roscoe when He was on the Earth to bring True Love to the Prophets and the Pegunkins.
4. The March of the Bambino's. The wonderfull procession of the little children, each bearing a likeness of one of the Gods: Grandmother Nortcele, Mother Elucelom , Lord Roscoe, Poopy Panda., and the Little Lord Joozis (except for Mota, who hides in the Heisenberry Bush and therefore is invisible and the spirit of ASHLOZMO who after all - is just a spirit).
5. The children especially like the Lord Roscoe in his three incarnations, and the Little Lord Joozis, who occasionally visits the Chapel to do Magic Tricks and Tell Hoogly Jokes.
6. Each Child also owns and carries a Poopy Panda stuffed toy. These are not ordinary toys, but each has an ARM based communication device which is connected by cellular phone to our High Tech Computer Center with communication services and the Full Text of the ISHKIBIBBLE and each toy can project Hoogly Propaganda and Movies of Roscoe and the Other Gods to convert all of the kids classmates to the TRUE FAITH
For the past several weeks I have attempted using this gnarley black word processor, but it has a nasty habit of going up in smoke. So I consulted with the Wise Men and the Wiser Women who decreed that I get My Hard Disk Deracinated. So instead of getting some meaningless scribble you are getting the TRUE TRUTH as only a Computer can DO. For are not the Writings of the Lord Roscoe and the Great Got Mota known as the Ishkibibble kept on the Computer Data base for instant revision according to the Pronouncements of Poopy Panda?
Well the way I see it, the problem with this nation is we don't put our true faith in the Great God Mota and our leaders do not help Mota fill the Quota. I know that you all Pegunkins, and members of Saint Schlimiel's Chapel of the Valley, and true believers on the Lord Roscoe are not at fault. However these politicians who don't support the True Faith, they are what is wrong. Its like when the Prophet Peddidle was in Babylon where Bodiddily was singing the Word of Poopy Panda and He sat there waiting for brother Mishigas and Sister Magillicuty to show up and those Babylonians were not true believers and worshiped Idols and the Epiphytes and the Stupidics and all those there Philosophers said to Peddidle, "Howsoever knowest the True Faith of Roscoe - being a New Thing That There " But some of them conspired to throw Peddiddle into the Mud of the River. So a new Prophet named Zabach came and said Arize Up sons of Slimeyness and go get cleaned and so those guys went up to get cleaned.
Well Mota was not pleased untill all the people got portable altars to worship the Lord Roscoe, and thats the same way, yet we have all of those deep draughts and storms and such and the great red spot on Jupiter and yet we don't know that Mota is Mad?
Which brings me to the story of when the Little Lord Joozis was playing basket ball and threw it into the Baloney Zone and then his mother Mavis had to take in Legal secretary work to support the family because Zambini, his father, did not have enough plumbing work to do because the Business Agent was crooked. That's real dedication and Roscoe and Poopy Panda sent to Little Lord Joozis investment instruments. Now you know that Lord Joozis did not spend this money on Himself but built the great Temple of Mota on the Wash ka Happy River in Down Town Milpitas.
So Professor Migilicutty whent around the country pretending to be a down and out BUM and when he would go into the homeless shelter he always asked for an Ishkibibble and the Hostest said, "What is an Ishkibibble and do you want a bagel?" and so because Professor Migilicutty was hungry, he always took the Bagel (With cream cheese), and that's why he got into the equipment business. So that what's wrong with this country, we don't read the Ishkibibble which is soon to be on line in the computer.
For More Information Write to :
Moishe's Mishigas
Box 195, Los Altos CA 94022
The Staff of the Newsletter:
Josephine McHamster, Editor
George Bartow, Illustrations
PS by Rev. McHamster