Dear Lot's - but especially first year readers of this esteemed journal,
I wish to warn you. Student elections are upon us. Honest - they start on Monday 20th. During this week, you will be harassed and annoyed by total strangers wanting you to vote for people you've never heard of, who are vying for positions you never knew existed. And don't think you can escape these campaigners. They're everywhere. They'll lecture bash you, they'll speak up during tutorials, they'll nab you as you walk to the toilets, they'll come up and speak with you when you're trying to study.
Here are some tips from La Fragolina. They're useful - I swear they are.
Of course, voting on the first day is a great idea. It prevents a moral crisis if you're forced to lie. And it gives you a valid reason to tell any campaigner to "fuck off, I've already voted"
La Fragolina
Dear Muse.
My friend and I had an interesting discussion about science fiction shows yesterday, which raised a few questions:
1) If the crew onboard the Enterprise and other such Trekkie vehicles have the technology which can instantaneously teleport people from the ship to the planet, why do they still use elevators?
2) If space is an empty void in which there is no gravity, then there is no 'up' and there is no 'down'. So why do ships always fly the same way up? Has there been some pan-galactic decree which states which way the ships must be positioned?
3) Where at Monash can I order a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster?
May the force be with you.
La Fragolina
Dear Lot's
I freely admit it, I'm a sucker for advertising. I truly believe that the burgers are better at Hungry Jacks, and every time I see one of those goddamned commercials, I'm hungry. Dread the day I see one after a heavy bong session. I'd chow my way through 6 grilled chicken burgers before they could ask me if I wanted fries with that.
Anyways, that's not what I wanted to mention. Let's talk Happy Meals. What a crappy name for a fast food. When was the last time you felt happy after eating at McDonalds? I get the feeling that Happy Meals are the toddler's equivalent of Prozac. Not to mention that the toys are shit. Who honestly still cherishes their Hunchback of Notre Dame faux beer steins?
And why the hell, do they call it a Happy Meal, and then introduce a character called Grimace? I swear, the next time I'm in McDonalds, I'm going to flip the Birdie, give them a big Grimace and then Hamburgler my way outta there.
La Fragolina
© 1999 The Archangel Cameo
