! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother that there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "How did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
A world famous catcher of a professional baseball team was having dinner one night in the restaurant of his hotel. Across the street he noticed a little girl playing on a third story balcony. As she was reaching for a ball that had rolled away from her, she lost her balance and fell from the balcony. The ball player sprang from his seat, ran across the street and caught the girl before she hit the ground. Unfortunately, he threw her to second base.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Two men met on the street. One of them was standing by a gorgeous new car. "Look what I got for my wife."
His friend was impressed. "That was a good trade." he said.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
A woman's husband got a little carried away and began to flirt with the gorgeous blonde playing the piano at the party. But in the course of his exploits he bumped the piano cover and it fell on his hands, so the couple had to leave early.
"Remind me to put a cold pack on your black eye when we get home," said the wife.
"But I haven't got a black eye," he corrected.
"You're not home yet," she reminded.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Brett sat on Jennifer's couch and began to propose.
"I'm not a wealthy man," he told her, "but I will be soon. I've got a very rich uncle and I'm his only heir. He's a very old man and so ill that he can't live more than a few months."
A few weeks later Jennifer became Brett's aunt.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
An Amish father and his son go in to visit a mall. They're amazed by almost everything they see, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that move apart and back together again.
The boy asks his father, "What is this, Father?"
The father responds "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father watch wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolls up to the moving walls and presses a button. The walls open and the lady rolls between them into a small room. The walls close and the boy and his father watch the small roll of lights above the walls light up. They continue to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls open up again and a beautiful 24 year-old woman steps out.
The father says, "Son, go get your Mother."
Return to Table of Contents