Devo 9
11/4/99
"Curves Ahead"
It's been a big week for me. A decision has been made that will definitely affect the course of my life. Well, that might be a bit over-dramatic, but not too much. Some of you already know, and I thank you for your encouragement and support. The rest of you are probably wondering what it is I've decided to do, and I'll tell you, but first a word from our sponsors...just kidding. Starting next January, I will be entering Graduate School at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln pursuing initial-certification and a Master's Degree in Secondary Teaching. What that means is that by the spring of 2001 I will be able to teach English for grades 7-12 (and that you'll have to start calling me Master! (not really, but if you ever feel so inclined...)) I have already applied for admission, and should be able to register for classes by tomorrow.
I have found it really ironic to look back and see the course my life has taken since I graduated from High School four and a half years ago. When I entered college, I had immediately declared my major as Computer-Science. My goal was that someday I would go into computer animation. I hadn't seen any VeggieTales videos yet, but I was particularly inspired by the movie Jurassic Park whose dinosaurs were almost entirely computer-generated. After three semesters of computer and Math classes, I began to realize that I was not grasping the concepts as easily as I would have liked. And looking forward, I did not like the prospect of sitting in front of a computer screen day in and day out working with these machines that constantly found ways to make you want to pull your hair out (if you've ever tried figuring out what is wrong with a program you've written, you know what I'm talking about).
To keep this somewhat short, I eventually decided to change my major to English, where the bulk of the work would be in reading books and writing papers, both of which I was good at. The ironic thing is that English was the subject that I found the most tedious and boring all through middle- and high-school. Even then I had no idea what I wanted to do with my major. I already knew that I didn't want to teach, English had simply became the most simple way for me to get through college in a decent amount of time.
By graduation last May, I still had no idea what I wanted to do for a career, though I had returned to thinking about computer animation (I had seen all of the VeggieTales videos by that time and was very impressed). This last summer at Timberlake changed me somewhat, though. The beginning of each week saw the arrival of new campers, as well as many parents and the traditional "getting-to-know-you" questions: "Where do you go to school?"--"I actually just graduated a couple of months ago from UNL." "Oh really? What was your major?"--"English." "Oh, so you're going to be a teacher then?"--"No, I really don't know what I'll be doing. I've got a place to stay in Lincoln and plan to start job hunting after the summer." And so on. I can't count the number of times I been through that conversation or a variant of it. It seems the only thing an English major is good for is Teaching. But besides that constant reminder, I was also learning some lessons of my own at Timberlake--largely to deal with motivations. Why was I at Timberlake?
I knew the 'right' answer was that I was there to "Provide opportunities for children and youth to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, and to encourage believers in the Christian walk". But I know that wasn't the only thing motivating me. Without going into any details, I realized that a lot of my motivations were selfish in nature--quite the opposite of the 'selflessness' I had been teaching my campers was the best way to live. I think a lot of the reason is that in my fourth year, I had led myself to believe that there was very little I didn't know about being a cabin leader--there was therefore very little to bring before God. No daily asking for the strength and the guidance. Instead I was asking for personal things--not wrong in itself, but in the context of Timberlake where my attention should have been first and foremost for the campers and my ministry to them, it was inappropriate.
I remember realizing this one night as I was sitting on my bed waiting for my campers to fall asleep. It wasn't something easy to realize either. It was, in a very real sense, realizing I had been somewhat of a hypocrite which is never easy to take. I knew that I had again been trying to take control of my life, trying to orchestrate my future.
It wasn't the first time I had been through this. There had been times in my past when I had gone through this cycle before; getting comfortable in a situation and then saying "Thanks, God, for bringing me this far, but I think I can take it from here." What I had forgotten was that I had given my life to Christ.
It is very easy (so easy that we rarely think about it) to separate all our activities into the categories of 'religious activities' and 'human activities'. Things like church and witnessing belong to the first category, and things like working, and relationships fall into the second. What's more is that these two are more often than not kept separate. What place does God have in the everyday world of school and work--activities geared toward providing for our life on earth. We trust in God for providing for our life in heaven, but we forget is that He has also promised to provide for our life on Earth. In fact, he even has a life planned for us that will ultimately bring glory to God. The obvious step, then, is to surrender our lives to God. After all, He promised that if we seek first the kingdom of God, then all of our daily needs will be met.
Much easier said then done. But I can promise that it will prove to be a great adventure. It is also quite scary. It wasn't easy to come back to Lincoln after the summer without a job and with multiple thousands of dollars in student loans hanging over my head. But God has proven Himself faithful as He has several times in the past. I now have a job that is providing enough to cover my rent and expenses each month. And now that I have found this program at the university that will get me a teaching certification in only a year and a half, several more options will be opened to me in the future, (not to mention that I'll be able to put off paying my student loans for a while).
I never dreamed that I would be going back to school so soon, let alone so that I could become an English teacher. That's the fun part about following Christ: you never know what unexpected turn life will take even a couple of months ahead. But you can be sure that God knows exactly what He's doing, and He will not lead you anywhere that you will not be able to endure. It is somewhat frightening to not know what the future will hold for us, but this should only serve to drive us deeper into the waiting arms of Christ. As Christians, shouldn't this be what we want anyway?