- Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

- Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

- Man who run in front of car get tired.

- Man who run behind car get exhausted.

- Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

- Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

- Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

- Man with one chopstick go hungry.

- Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

- Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.

- Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

- War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.

- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

- It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

- Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

- Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

- Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

- Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

- Crowded elevator smells different to midget.