1. ONLY IN AMERICA.... can a pizza get to your house faster
than an ambulance..
2. ONLY IN AMERICA.... are there handicap parking places
in front of a skating rink..
3. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do drugstores make the sick walk
all the way to the back of the store to get
their prescriptions while healthy
people can buy cigarettes at the front..
4. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do people order double cheeseburgers,
large fries and a diet coke..
5. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do banks leave both doors open
and then chain the pens to the counters..
6. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do we leave cars worth tens of
thousands of dollars in the driveway and put
our useless junk in the garage..
7. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do we use answering machines to
screen calls and then have Call Waiting so
we won't miss a call from someone
we didn't want to talk to in the first place..
8. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do we buy hot dogs in packages
of ten and buns in packages of eight..
9. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do we use the word "politics"
to describe the process so well. "Poli" in Latin
meaning "many" and "tics" meaning
"bloodsucking" creatures..
l0. ONLY IN AMERICA.... do they have drive-up ATM machines
with Braille lettering..
11.ONLY IN AMERICA.... can a homeless combat veteran
live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger
live in the White House..