A guy gets home late one night and his wife says, where the hell have you been?
"I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill tattod on my penis."
"What the hell were you thinking? Why did you get a hundred dollar bill on your penis?"
"Well, number one, I like to watch my money grow...
Number two, once in a while, I like to play with my money....
And lastly, instead of you  going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."