THE NORTH --VS-- THE SOUTH



Everything Southern has its Yankee counterpart. Here's how to tell which is which:



The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes,

The South has 'mater samiches.


The North has coffeehouses,

The South has Waffle Houses.


The North has dating services,

The South has family reunions.


The North has switchblade knives,

The South has Lee Press-on Nails.


The North has double last names,

The South has double first names.


The North has Ted Kennedy,

The South has Jesse Helms.


The North has an ambulance,

The South has an amalance.


The North has the Mafia,

The South has NASCAR.


The North has Indy car races,

The South has Swamp Buggy races.


The North has Cream of Wheat or Oatmeal,

The South has grits.


The North has green salads,

The South has collard greens and chitlins.


The North has lobsters,

The South has crawdads.


The North has Distilleries, Breweries, and liquor stores,

The South has stills, shine, and them ridgerunners.


The North has the rust belt,

The South has the Bible Belt.


The North has Dan Qualye,

The South has Bill Clinton.



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