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What I did last night according to a news post I made at the talker:
Subject: in kissed th4 cute guy~!
Posted by aLanis on 02:01:29 AM - Fri, 01 January.
Article has been read eleven times.
i9 reallly dd and i had
teiulas and champagne xhrlieas n\and SCREW drtivers
screeeeee2wwdrivers
hehehe3['/ijo [A[B[C[D
okaty anyways
we went to tombstone
YES I AM BLEEEPING DURNL;
abtyqways ytouu
'll lkive
i 'll live]
okay here's the deal
me and kafkakfakfaklfkakf wrent
to TOMBSTONE
TOMBSTONE
that's thqwre those dan cowboys died
a hudnred yetrs ago
Ansf
asnd\
AND <--- typed by Kafka
okay AND um we met a woman she kafka
knowsnthqt's all nice with nice seguoinbj
earring
sequin
anywayus
ANYWAYS
we went to a bar that's like RINGO'S
like th beetle
and okay there was this cute guy like a
redneck blonde tom cruise
and hasha i got drunk and made him KIIIIISSS
MEEEE BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
so there
~lan ia
This is what I think I was trying to write:
Subject: I kissed the cute guy!
I really did, and I had tequilas and champagne
and screwdrivers, hehe. Okay, anyways - we
went to tombstone ( YES I AM FUCKING DRUNK),
but I'll live.
Okay, here's the deal. Me and Kafka went
to Tombstone. That's where those darn cowboys
died a hundred years ago, and we met a woman
Kafka knows, that's very nice, with nice
sequin earrings.
Anyways. We went to a bar that was called
Ringo's, just like the Beatle, and there was
this cute guy who looked like a redneck blonde
Tom Cruise and, ha ha, I got drunk and made him
kiss me. Ha ha ha. So there.
~Lansia.
Hmm, let me think what I can remember. Okay, we went to Tombstone after getting all dolled up and sparkly. It was rather cold, and Jessica's friend Alice was a bit late to our meeting in front of the Crystal Palace (Actual Bar the Earps went to!!!), and I got mighty, mighty intimidated because, um, there were people there. I can't explain it - I have absolutely no problems dancing and singing in Wal Mart, restaurants, whatever, but just being seen officialy going out is just nerve wrecking for me. It's really hard to explain to people who see me be this extroverted dork most of the time that yes, sometimes my chest gets all tight and I can't breathe and I pace and if we walk in somewhere with people, I have to force myself to breathe and walk, keep walking, nevermind those people in there, just walk. I get a sort of tunnel vision where I walk right behind whoever's bringing me there closely, not looking anywhere but their back or I'll lose it and run out again. Whatever.
What made it even more thrilling was that outside the saloon were 5-6 men in their 50'ies, DRESSED UP LIKE OLD TIME COWBOYS. Black hats, black coats, vest's, boots, mustaches.. Drove me nuts. Unfortunately the Crystal Palace was for reservations only, so after trying to get into the other saloon (Big Nose Kate's - Doc Holiday's girlfriend!!!) with little success, we moved on to a small bar called Ringo's that was packed with redneck Cowboys in their 40'ies. It didn't look to promising at first, it took quite a while before our order for screwdrivers (vodka and orange juice) went through, but once we had that, things went rather well, and we congratulated ourselves on finding this nice bar instead of that stuck-up stuffy-aired Big Nose Kate's..
After the screwdriver, I got antsy and requested a tequila shot, which I downed quickly, coz, erm, I'm a tequila slut. By the time the night was over, I had had 2 (and a half, shh) Screwdrivers, 4 tequila shots and four plastic cup champagne glasses, and yes, I was drunk. Like, really really drunk - a first for me in a looong time, because I have a really high tolerance level. I'm blaming it on the fact that I had only had a sandwhich that entire day. But boy, was a drunk. Therefore, the night's a blur and yadda-yadda, I'm sure you understand. I'll just look back on Jessica's Entry to try and get some sense of continuity. Okay.
We sat at a small table opposite the bar, just far enough from the cold of the door, but also far enough from the Dire Straits being blasted from the jukebox, and just close enough not to get a heat stroke and still be able to sing along to Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator". Very nice table indeed.
SO. The redneck Tom Cruise. Let's see if I can remember this correctly. Okay, so we're sitting there, talking/drinking, and all of a sudden this GUY walks in and ooo. So cute. No, not the drunkness talking. He was blonde, with that kind of nice wavy/slightly curly hair that's not really long, but sort of, and a nice, blonde mustasch, and a wonderful black leather coat/jacket. His face was a bit thinner than Tom Cruise's, but when he smiled he had that same chin and kind-of-dimples and look to him. *sigh* I immediately swooned, and had to have Jessica and Alice assure me that "he's probably an asshole anyways", and I agreed, because good looking guys always know they are good looking guys, and he was a bit rednecky too, and as I said, really good looking, so he's bound to be an asshole. Anyways. He left and came back a few times, and each time he re-appeared I was a bit more drunk and whiney - I even recall growling at Jessica and Alice for wanting to step outside a bit because then I would "lose sight of the redneckassholecuteguy!!!!!".
As the clock ticked on and our party got slightly more.. "tipsy", we put on party hats provided by the saloon people, and blew hour party horns lots... Jessica wandered over to the jukebox and had "Sisters are doing it for themselves" play, while she danced wonderfully (at times accompanied by this really, really drunk guy in a black and red shirt that I had seen lose his balance earlier and fall conveniently onto a bar stool), while me and Alice applauded, whistled and hollered greatly. Hopefully the pic will come out well 8)
I do recall the cuteassholeguy wandering by once, and me yelling "Hi!!" to his back, and when he turned around, I went "I think you are really cute!", and he gave me this smile (sort of like the smile Tom Cruise gives a lot in "Legend", y'know?) and a nod and kept walking (of course :)
A few minutes before midnight, I had Alice lead me to the bathroom (true sign I am drunk - I beg someone to "please lead me to the bathroom"), where I encounted this drunk girl with blonde long hair and dark lipstick who kept insisting that she was now the prom queen and "fuck all those high school assholes anyways!" I assured her that if I had voted, I would have voted for her, and that "YOu are a Prom Queen, honey! Have a Happy New year!", while singing along to Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer". I encountered her later on again, as I was leaving the bathroom after a second trip, and I hugged her and told her "You're a great prom queen!" and she twinkled and hugged me back. Ooo Kodak moment.
Me and Alice returned 15 seconds before midnight, and so the three of us got to do a countdown, yell "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!", blow our horns, throw our garlands, hug, get hugged by old drunk men who saw this as a great chance to get a bit too close coz "hey it's new years eve!!" and drink complimentary champagne (very cheap, but really, who cares?) I do believe we left for a while after that, walked a bit, wished people a Happy New Year (I may have been flashing people because my buttons kept getting unbuttoned so my bra was very much showing, but I really didn't give a fuck at the time. Now I'm a bit "oops..." about it). I think this may have been when I got my first picture with cowboys - the same group that had been outside the Crystal Palace were still there, and I proclaimed that I love the Wild West and am bummed coz I'm from Sweden and never get to see real cowboys, and I do believe I clung onto one of them for a picture that no doubt will turn out dreadful.
Shortly after that we turned back to Ringo's, where they had stopped serving alcohol and, oh my, I sat down next to redneckcuteasshole guy an pestered him a bit more, I do recall him saying that "yeah, my girlfriend is out of town", me showing him my passport to convince him I was really Swedish, and well, it's sort of a blur? I THINK I made some sort of speech saying that "Okay, here's the deal. I think you are really cute. I'm really drunk and not very cute, and I know you have a girlfriend, BUT is there any chance you'd give me a kiss to give me a good start on the New year, even if it's just on the cheek?" Um. Um. Um. I can very vaguely remember the rest, but I quote Jessica's diary on what happened:
"I wanted a soda, so we went back to Ringo's, which was mostly empty by now, and took a table that just happened to be right next to the one where Jennie's "cute guy" (blonde hair, black eyebrows) was sitting. So Jennie began to talk to him,
telling him how cute she thought he was, that she was from Sweden, et cetera. I didn't really get to hear the conversation and it didn't really seem like sparks were flying BUT... and I do have to give the man credit for this... when she asked if she
could just have a little New Year's kiss on the cheek, he not only complied, but even briefly moved his kiss from her cheek to her mouth."
I do remember the last part. 8) Now how sweet was that? :) On behalf of ugly, fat girls everywhere, I thank you, AssholeRedneckTomCruiseCuteGuy, for being so nice, and even giving a bit more than the situation required. I hope you and you're girlfriend have a happy new year :)
As he left, and we left, we crossed the street and hung around Big Nose Kate's saloon (*sigh* I do believe this was when I started to act rather unbearable - thanks for putting up with me, Jessica & Alice) where I wished people a happy new year (I do believe my bra wished them one, too... ) and the three of us stumbled upon this small party of 4-5 people in their 40-50'ies, dressed very old fashioned and cowboy'ish. I serenaded the cowboy with long, white hair and a big, white cowboy hat with "BLOOD MOOONEY!!", and stories of how I alays wanted to be Calamity Jane when I was a kid, but it's kind of hard growing up in the 1980's in Sweden. He didn't get too intimidated, and even let me pose with him for a picture, AND let me wear his hat when I asked him, even though he said he usualy never let's anybody wear it. Thank You, kind older cowboys of Tombstone! You made this lame Swedish girl very, very, very happy. Really. :)
Eventually, Jessica and Alice got me to the public restrooms, where they sang Dona Nobis Pacem (I tried to join in, but it's been too many years since I last sang it, plus, erm, I sounded like a bullfrog, PLUS... I preferred "Blood Money". ) As we walked away, we crossed the street just where a motel was, and *sigh* I decided to sing to the drunk cowboys on the balcony, and I treated them to... Blood Money. When one of them casually threw down an empty beer can, Jessica saw it fit to grab me out of there, and we ended up at the parking lot. I did lay down in the backseat of her car for a while, but my head was spinning a lot, so I decided to get out of the car and lean on the car instead. As I started to feel icky, I stumbled over to the house wall and threw up in the grass, perfectly aimed and appropriate. I congratulated myself on not being one of those drunks who throw up all over cars, and 'walked' back to the car.
We decided that perhaps it was best if we got something to eat, so Jessica (quite sober, of course) drove to a convenience store and got some nachos with cheese. I stayed in the car, and erm... needed to throw up again, but was stuck in the backseat without the wits to get out, so I found an empty Coca Cola cup. I know. I'm grossing you out. :P I don't care. It took quite a while before they came back, and I could see the guy at the cashier register talk to a smiling Jessica, but I'm sorry, I kept thinking "Eeew, lizard guy! I bet he have scales!" - I think it's now officialy proven that me and Jessica have very different views on cute, which is.. good. I spent 9 years with a friend who kept having crushes on the same guy I did, and it gets tired after a while :> I do have to say that now that I look back, he was kind'a cute in a geeky way :)
After letting Alice off at the parkinglot, Jessica took us home safely, while I had a case of drunken depression - not a big deal. She had to reassure me that I had, indeed, been "kissed by the cute guy, so there, you're not a failure." *hug* Sorry, Jessica :)
We reached her home safely, and once inside I posted the above post to the talker, and then positioned myself on the couch while Jessica worked on her diary. In fact, I positioned myself on the couch TWICE, because I kept sliding off, to a point where Jessica uttered a tired "so don't get back on the couch, then?" - I followed her advice, and napped on the floor.
And here I am, 3:30 pm, no hang over in sight. So there - I can't even be pointed at in a "serves you right for getting so drunk!" manner, because I'm really fine, not even the slightest trace of head ache. hahahhahah :)
I got kissed by the cuuuuuuute guy. lalala.
In 1999 I promise to (ongoing list):
- Love Cowboys.
- Be loopy, "a ride", "off the handle", dorky, and whatever else I've been called in good nature the past year.
- Want to lose weigth and make up for the impure thoughts by fullfilling the next promise:
- Eat More Icecream.
- Stay a vegetarian.
- Not get into politics.
- Sort of apply myself school-wise.
- Not talk so much because people don't like it.
- Keep my vocal level lower - I'm sick of people wincing and covering their ears demonstratively when I accidently let out a high pitched squeak for whatever reason.
- Hold unreasonable wishes for the future.
- Accidently offend.
- Tell my mother I love her.
- Find more blue edible things.
- Find the ultimate toothpaste.
- Sing along to really bad songs I dislike just because.
- STAY THE FUCK SINGLE.
- Find new exciting items with glitter and sparkles on them, (current project: to buy the red sequin covered bra at Wal-Mart)
- Show off my bad sides a bit more so people stop seeing me as some beanieheaded nitwitt who giggles a bit too much.
- Be even more appreciative of my friends.
- Get even less famous.
- Buy new band-aid's with animals on them.
- Log off more.
- Make very little sense.
- Strive even less for money.
- Still want to name a future child (very, very distant future) Ripley.
- Stop denying that am an encyclopedia when it comes to Party of Five, Felicity and Dawson's Creek.
- Watch more movies.
- Handle money better (must get more CDs, and CheezeWiz, and Glitter, food, food, food)
- Not take up smoking (considering my phobia of matches, ligthers and cigarrettes, that shouldn't be a problem, but you never know.)
- Not scrape off bread mold and eat it, hoping to meet Santa in another dimension.
- Think such evil thoughts about people I don't know. I'll just wait till I get to know them.
- Not lose any weight - need bigger butt!!!!
- Finish transferring diary/things to jennie.simplenet.com
- Not spend hours and hours on the Pj site when there's nothing urgent that needs to be done.
- Get drunk off of Apple Cider.
- Come home and hug my family.
- Not tell anybody that Jessica Giggles in real life.
- Eat more Caesar salads.
- Not buy any Jewel, Celine Dion OR Mariah Carey CDs.
- Still believe in Santa.
- Get more Tori/PJ bootlegs.
- Buy at least 7 different clothes items that can not just be underwear, bra's, socks, scarves or $8 shoes.
- Miss my Cats.
- Still obsess over celebrities.
- Not join any new cults.
- Still like spaghetti with Heinz ketchup and Danish Blue Cheese.
- Not get stalked.
- MAKE AZIZA CHOCOLATE MUFFINS!!!!
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