Chapter Four: Admissions of the Heart

Packing her possessions became a long and difficult task. There were so many things they shared that were neither hers nor his, rather they were theirs. She stacked several boxes in a corner of the living room and moved into their bedroom to pack her clothing and a few personal items. Stoically, she packed her clothing into overnight bags and placed her most important personal items in a separate box. She managed to keep from breaking down until she came to one particular item. It was a long, oversized, maroon robe. It smelled of Chris’ cologne and her body lotion. She buried her face in the soft, distressed fabric as her shoulders shook. Breathing in Chris’ woodsy cologne took her back nearly a decade to their time on the Enterprise.

**"Hi," she whispered, lying on her stomach with her hands folded under her pillows. She smiled shyly at the man lying next to her.

"Hi yourself," he said in a deep, gravely voice. He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up on an elbow. With his free hand, he reached over and brushed a curly tendril off her cheek. A finger slid down her bare shoulder. "Did you sleep well?"

"In the hours I slept," she said with a knowing smile. Her cheeks stained with a slight blush as she said, "Someone kept me up quite a bit last night."

"I can’t imagine who that was." Chris leaned over and kissed the spot where his finger had rested. Marissa shivered slightly as his warm breath raised chill bumps on her cool skin. He traced a line to her mouth where their lips met in a tender kiss. He pulled away as his breath grew quick. "Are you sure you’re all right?" He asked pointedly.

The blush on Marissa’s cheeks grew several degrees, and she glanced over his shoulder as she answered. "I’m wonderful, Chris. I promise."

He reached under her pillow and found one of her hands. Pulling it out, he lifted it to his lips and kissed her fingers. "Don’t ever be afraid to tell me if something hurts you or frightens you or scares you or even excites you."

"I think I can handle that," she said, her own breath catching. When he released her hand, she curled it around his neck and pulled him back down to her. They kissed again, his hand drifting lazily on her naked back. Slowly, she pulled herself over to him, turning on her side, and pressing her body up against his. He groaned and pulled her closer to him. She recoiled slightly when his erection brushed up against her stomach. "Nothing’s changed," he whispered, trailing a line of kisses down her neck. She sighed as his hands ran down to her buttocks and cupped her low. "Nothing’s different," he murmured, licking his way back up to her lips.

"Except this time, it’s morning, and this isn’t the first time," she said just before their lips met again.

Chris chuckled against her lips and used his body weight to push her onto her back. Then, he half covered her body with his, attacking her with a newfound vengeance unlike last night where everything had required he take his time and keep in mind that she was a virgin. This time he teased, touched, and tasted his way down her body. He nipped at her breasts and she thread her fingers in his hair. He made hot spots on her stomach, bringing a gasp from her when he bit at her belly button. Then, he brought a stillness from her as he neared her most intimate part. Her legs, parted and inviting, suddenly closed tightly. She made a slight tug on his hair to bring him back up to her, but he ignored her and slid a finger under her raised knees to tease her intimately.

The wet warmth he encounter there was nearly his undoing. He clenched his jaw, determined to introduce her to a new pleasure, and slid his finger slightly inside her. She gasped and moved her hips as if trying to bring him deeper inside her. He chuckled and obliged her for only a second, shoving his finger deeply inside. She cried out at the invasion, and then cried out again in loss as he removed his finger. That moment with her guard down was all he needed. He lowered his head to her and slowly licked the slit where her desire burned. She gasped in shock and embarrassment as he continued his slow and deliberate assault. Soon her head jerked on the pillow and her hands tangled again in his hair as he licked and sucked at her most sensitive skin. "Chris," she moaned, thrusting her hips up slightly. Knowing instinctively what she wanted, he slid his finger inside her and felt her walls clench him tightly. It took all his self-restraint not to stop his attack, move over her body, and thrust his hard erection into her waiting body. Still, he waited, speeding up his ministrations.

Her head jerked on the pillow with a will of its own as he tortured her. When he began lightly thrusting his finger in and out of her body, moaned, and thrust her hips downward, taking his finger fully into her body. "Unh," she groaned, feeling a new, yet familiar, tightness coming to her body. "Chris!" She cried out in a soft, strained voice, feeling waves upon waves of pleasure pour over her.

He stopped, kissing his way back up to her lips, covering her body with his, and lifting her legs around his waist. He thrust his tongue into her waiting mouth as he thrust himself into her still throbbing body. She gasped at the welcomed invasion as they kissed. He moved in her relentlessly, causing her to come apart underneath him again, just before he thrust harshly into her, flooding her inside with warmth as his body jerked. "I love you," Chris breathed into her ear as he pulled her onto her side with him, still linked.

"I love you, too," she whispered, her eyes closing, as she snuggled into his shoulder, savoring the feeling on him still inside her.

They drifted off to sleep for a brief while, and when they awoke, it was just an hour before they were due on duty. In haste, Chris jumped from his bed, reaching into his closet and tossing Marissa the first thing he grabbed. It was his new robe, thick, dark, and entirely too big for her. She slid her arms into his, wrapped it around her body, and belted it. When she stood, it more than covered her toes. They chuckled at it before they rushed to get ready for duty.**

That had been nearly a decade ago. Marissa sighed heavily as she lifted her head from the old robe. She swallowed hard and put it back into the closet. After all, it was still Chris’ robe, no matter who wore it most.

On the bridge, Chris sat next to his captain with a brooding look. The faraway look in his eyes confirmed that Chris was a million miles away from his duty station. His captain glanced over at the younger man with growing dissatisfaction. This behavior was completely atypical for his first officer. He stood, began walking towards his Ready Room, and said, "Commander Watson, with me please. Davies, you have the bridge." Chris jerked his head up and stared dumbly at his captain’s back before the words registered. Then, he leapt to his feet and hurried after the older man.

Inside his Ready Room, the captain took his seat behind his desk and gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. "Have a seat, Chris," he invited. Chris sat down uncertainly, not liking the tone of his superior officer’s voice. "Would you like a drink?" He asked, lacing his fingers together on the desktop.

"No, sir," Chris said, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Then, I’ll get right to it. What’s the problem?"

"Sir?" Chris’ forehead wrinkled.

"You’re a million miles away out on my bridge. That leads me to ask you, what’s the deal?"

"It’s personal, Sir," Chris said, knowing it was the wrong thing to say.

"When you come onto my bridge, you leave the personal business behind, Commander."

"I can’t leave this behind, Sir. If it is better for the safety of the crew, I will take myself off duty."

"I want to know what’s so damned important that it’s taking up all your concentration."

"It’s personal, Sir."

"I don’t want to hear that, Commander! Don’t make me make it an order, Chris!" Their captain roared.

Chris flinched and looked down at his hands. "Sir, it’s between myself and my wife."

"And, you made it my business when you brought it to my bridge. You also bring it to my attention when you are someone of the crew that I happen to care for like you and your wife."

Chris sighed and answered, "Marissa asked me for a divorce earlier today, Sir. Then, we got into another fight and she informed me she was moving out of our quarters. I expect she’ll be here any moment to ask you for another room assignment."

For a moment, their captain was speechless. The only thing he could think of to say was, "I can deny her request."

"It’ll only make things worse. I believe if you deny her request she will actually go so far as to resign her commission."

"Do her parents know?"

Chris nodded. "Yeah, or I would think so. She tells them everything. Dr. Weiss knows, too, so it’s going to spread through the ship."

The captain ran his hands over his face. "Hell, this is why I hate having married couples serving together, but I couldn’t deny Admiral Riker’s request that you two not be separated. Did he know things were this bad between you two when he made that edict?"

"Things weren’t bad between us until six months ago."

"You’re going to let this divorce happen?"
"I have no choice, Sir. This is what she wants, and this is what she thinks is best for both of us."

"Do you agree with her?"

"I love her, Sir."

"So what? That doesn’t answer the questions. Do you believe this is the best thing for both of you?"

"I don’t know what I believe anymore," Chris replied softly.

Everything on the bridge appeared to be running normally to the standard officer, but the second Marissa walked onto the bridge, she knew that not everything was running normally. The first thing she noticed was the unease coming from nearly every officer. She pointedly avoided looking at the command center, and instead went directly to the door of the Ready Room. With her hands locked behind her back, she waited patiently for the doors to open. She picked up Chris’ presence and groaned. He was obviously in a meeting with the captain.

The door opened and Chris walked out. Their eyes locked. Marissa could not tear her eyes away from the naked hurt she saw deep within the depth of Chris’. He stared at her for a moment, and then moved aside, politely adding, "Excuse me." His brusqueness hurt, but she knew she deserved it and would have to get used to it, so she walked into the captain’s office.

"Captain," Marissa said, greeting him as the doors closed behind her.

"What a coincidence, Commander," he said with a fond smile for the young lieutenant commander. "I just finished up a meeting with your husband."

"Yes, Sir," she said, walking over and placing her hands on top of a chair. "I’m afraid that’s why I’m here."

"Afraid?" He wrinkled his forehead and hoped to hell her empathic senses were straying to Chris instead of noting he was lying through his teeth to her. "Have a seat, Marissa."

She gratefully sunk into a chair and crossed her legs. "Pardon me for saying this, but you don’t look so well. Perhaps a visit to Sickbay is in order."

"I feel fine, Sir. Thank you for your concern, though."

"Well, then, what can I do for you?" The overtly sweet charm was beginning to get to him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up his act with her.

"I need new quarters, Sir," Marissa said directly. "Chris and I are divorcing, and I cannot remain in our quarters."

Captain Wicks nodded and made a triangle with his hands under his chin. "Chris did mention you two were having problems."

"I’m beginning the divorce as soon as I leave here, Sir. Before I go on duty," she added quietly.

"Well, you will need new quarters, then." He reached for his computer and tapped a button. After staring at the screen for less than a minute, he looked back to Marissa and said, "Crew quarters 9-E are open. You can move into them at anytime, Commander."

"Thank you, Sir," Marissa said gratefully, rising to her feet.

Captain Wicks stood with her and said gruffly, "Marissa, make sure you know what you’re doing. Don’t do something you’ll regret."

"I know what I’m doing, Sir. Thank you for your concern," she said as she left.

When the doors closed, he sank back down in his chair and covered his full face with his hands. "This is the damnedest thing yet to happen on this ship," he muttered to no one. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but somewhere down the line he had come to think of Chris and Marissa as the son and daughter-in-law he had never had. His two daughters were unmarried, and he barely saw them over the years. His crew had long ago become his family, and certain members of it had become those he cared about deeply. Chris and Marissa numbered among that small number. He knew the problems Chris had with his family, and the problems Marissa once had with her own. He had taken Chris under his wing, guided him in his career, and now he wondered if he hadn’t played a role in this latest development in the Watsons’ lives. He sighed, ran a hand heavily over his face, and rose to face his crew.

Chris took his seat at the command center and attempted to focus his thoughts on his assignment at hand. Nevertheless, his gaze continued to stray to the door where his wife sat talking with their captain. As much as he wanted Captain Wicks to refuse her request, he knew it would be honored. Their captain held a certain amount of respect for Marissa simply because of her parentage. Nearly everyone they met was impressed immediately with her once they found out she was the daughter of the renowned Admiral William T. Riker and Commander Deanna Troi-Riker. Her lineage had never impressed Chris, but that was only because he had met her before she knew William Riker was her father. When they had met all those years ago on the Enterprise, he was an engineer, she was the newest and youngest member of the senior staff, and Will Riker was their captain. Chris had been the first one to notice the similarities between their captain the their newest officer. It wasn’t long after that observation that everyone, Will Riker included, found out Marissa Warren should actually have been Marissa Riker, for Will Riker was her father. It had been a hellish time for everyone, particularly Marissa, who had no clue who she could trust after being lied to most her life by everyone she had known. Then, she had turned to Chris for comfort and support, and their relationship changed from friends to lover.

The newness of their relationship had been quite an experience for Chris. Marissa had known what to expect, being partially Betazoid, but Chris, being fully human, had no idea that having sex with a Betazoid could sometimes, albeit rarely, produce a bond between the couple that allowed them to be telepathic with each other. With Marissa being a fourth Betazoid, she saw no reason to mention to Chris. She doubted she had enough Betazoid blood in her for a bond to form, but it had, and sharing his thoughts and feelings with hers had been something that had taken him a long time to get used to. The only thing he had really learned to do was how to block out her thoughts and emotions enough to get his work done. He hadn’t learned how to use their bond to intensify their relationship. Once they married, what they had was enough for him, but it wasn’t enough for Marissa. At first, she hadn’t said anything about it, but as her dissatisfaction grew with their life, she voiced her grievances. Chris had ignored those gripes. Now, as he sat staring at the Ready Room’s door, he wished he had listened to her.

Chapter Five: Changes

When Marissa walked onto the bridge six hours later, it was as if everyone stopped to stare at her. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled as she walked to her station and relieved the officer. Even that officer gave her a strange look as he left the station to her. She gratefully slid behind the navigational controls and went about logging in and running the standard diagnostics for her shift. Once she immersed herself in her duties the usual low buzz of conversation began again, but whenever she looked up or over at someone, the conversations tended to either stop or become nearly silent. Inside, she seethed, realizing everyone was speaking of her separation from Chris. Brutally, she stabbed the navigational controls while completing the diagnostics. When they were completed, she stared ahead at the viewscreen and said, "Navigational systems running normally, Sir."

"Thank you, Commander Watson," the on duty officer said. Then, in a slightly vicious voice he asked, "Or is it Commander Riker, now?"

"Commander Watson is my husband," Marissa said tightly, hating this particular officer. "I am Lieutenant Commander Watson."

"According to what I heard today, it’s soon to be Lieutenant Commander Riker," he said. There was a laugh to his voice that brought Marissa angrily to her feet. She placed her hands on her hips, glared slivers of blue ice at the officer, and said in a deadly soft voice, "In the conference room. Now."

Her voice left no room for doubt, and he smirked as he followed her into the conference room where the senior staff meetings were held. When the door closed behind them, she spun around and said, "How dare you bring my personal life up on the bridge while we are on duty? What’s more, how dare you find humor in my problems? You are a poor excuse for a commanding officer," she said hatefully, tossing her long curls over her shoulders. Marissa pointed a finger at the slightly older officer’s chest. "You have no right to be the commanding officer on this shift, and I will see to it you are removed from command rotation today."

"Gonna put me on report or just put a call into daddy?" He asked derisively.

Marissa’s glare grew even icier. "Commander Rahtopia, what is your problem with me? You have had a chip on your shoulder since the day we met. So, why don’t you tell me, what is it about me you just can’t stand? Is it because I’m a better officer than you are and you know it, or is because most of the crew likes me while they hate you?" Marissa smiled slightly as he flinched but remained silent. "Not going to answer? That’s fine. You keep that lip of yours locked up, and if you ever, ever bring my personal problems onto the bridge again, I will personally remove you from duty for being unfit. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir," Rahtopia said snidely.

"Good," Marissa said, turning her back and walking back out onto the bridge. She slid back behind the navigational controls and released a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. It felt good to yell at someone, even if it wasn’t the person who deserved her anger. Although, she thought Rahtopia deserved quite a bit of it. The little Xiritation had annoyed her from the day she had met him, and evidently he felt the same way towards her. From what she understood about the Xiritation people and society, they held little regard for women beyond their reproductive purpose. Marissa wrinkled her nose. Thank God, her society had finally moved beyond that belief. She checked their course again, smiled at the results, and leaned back against her seat.

For the umpteenth time, Chris walked through their, his, quarters again. Everything of Marissa’s was gone. In every room in the quarters, there were empty spaces where her stuff had once occupied. Their, his, bedroom was the harshest reminder that she was gone. Wandering in there, he opened a door and found it empty. Of course it would be, it was the door that had once held her nightclothes. There was nothing left. All his clothes were left neatly in their, his, closet, half the drawers were empty, and half the shelves in the bathroom were cleared off. A stranger would never have guessed a woman once lived there. Her pillows remained on what had been her side of their, his, bed. He sat down; realizing the whole bed was now his. It’s too damned big for one person, he though. Its design was for two people. He reached over the comforter and pulled out one of her pillows. It smelled flowery, like the shampoo she used. With a sudden burst of anger, he threw the pillow across the room. It hit the dresser and rested on the top of it where a picture of them once had stood. He wondered what she had done with all their holos. "Computer, locate Marissa Watson," he said, knowing she was on the bridge, but wanting to make sure.

"Marissa Watson is on the main bridge."

Chris sighed. If she wasn’t living with him, he wanted to know where she was at all times. The least he could do was continue to watch out for her safety. After all, she was a member of his crew, and she was still his wife. Listlessly, he walked over to the computer terminal in their, his, bedroom and pushed a flashing button. Immediately, several messages popped on the screen. Two were from friends aboard the ship, one was from Marissa’s mother, and the other was from someone whose name he didn’t recognize. "Computer, access last message and play to screen."

The message came on the screen nearly immediately, and his brow furrowed in concentration as he read the legal jargon. When he finished he muttered, "Dammit to hell! Computer, close and save message. Then, display message from Deanna Riker. Also, establish a communications link to Commander Riker on Starbase 183."

As the computer complied, Chris read Deanna’s sympathetic message. His eyes stung slightly, realizing he would also be losing Marissa’s family in this divorce. He liked her mother, and admired her father.

"Link established," the computer said.

"Patch through to my terminal."

Seconds later, Deanna’s smiling but sad face appeared. "Hello Christopher," she said quietly. "How are you."

"Angry," he answered honestly. Although Deanna was light years away from him, he still believed she knew every emotion he felt and could sense any lie he said. Telling her the straight, god honest truth, just made him feel better.

"I can imagine," she said. "Marissa isn’t too happy, either."

"You’ve spoken with her," he observed.

"Will and I both spoke with her earlier this afternoon. We hoped to talk her out of such a rash decision. I take it our chat did no good?"

"None. In fact, she moved into her own quarters while I was on duty earlier today," he told his mother-in-law.

Deanna winced and shook her head. "I am so sorry, Chris."

"No, I’m the one who’s sorry, Deanna. I should have seen this coming. Lord knows, she hasn’t been happy for a long time. Hell, marriages don’t really last that long any more. I don’t know why I’m so surprised. I guess I thought we were the real deal."

"You two are the ‘real deal’ and so much more. I’m afraid that’s something you never learned, and something Marissa has always known."

"I don’t understand."

"And, you won’t understand it until you learn it," she said with a serene smile that infuriated him.

"Learn what?"

"What you’ve needed to learn since the day you chose to bond with my daughter."

"I chose to have sex with your daughter. I didn’t choose to bond with her."

The crude choice of words should have made Deanna frown, but instead it made her chuckle. "Your mind, your heart, and your soul were open to her when you had sex with her. That’s what bonded you to her. Like it or not, Christopher, you have been and will always be Imzadi to my daughter."

"Imzadi," he mussed. "I believed in that once upon a time. Then, I realized fairy tales don’t really come true."

"Don’t doubt the power of that bond, Christopher," Deanna warned. "You won’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone."

"I do know what I’m missing," he said, looking around their, his, empty bedroom. "I’m missing my wife."

"But, not enough to try and work things out with her."

"I’m not going to pressure her. We both know how she operates when she’s pressured into something."

"She makes rash and unwise decisions when she’s pressured in anything that doesn’t have to do with Starfleet. That, I’m afraid, she inherited from her father." A soft smile lit Deanna’s face. "Don’t pressure her, Chris, but don’t give into her easily."

"She’s already filed for the divorce," he said quietly. "Did you know that?" His pain filled eyes lanced Deanna as she cleared her voice and shook her head. "I just got a communiqué about it. I have thirty standard days to contest the divorce. If I don’t, the divorce will be final in forty-five days." Chris chuckled and said, "Less than two months to undo nearly ten years of marriage. It doesn’t seem right, Deanna."

"Then, contest it," she encouraged. "Don’t let things end like this, Christopher. I know you love my daughter, and I know you don’t want this. Don’t let her do something the both of you are going to always regret."

"This is her decision, Deanna, and I’m not going to try and talk her out of it."

Deanna shook her head and sighed. "Chris, remember the emptiness you feel right now for the rest of your life because this is the best it’s going to get," she said ruefully. "Riker out."

The viewscreen became blank and Chris stared at it for a long time, wondering what in the hell his mother-in-law had meant with her final words to him.

Deanna? Will walked into their apartment, knowing his wife was there, and unable to find her. He sent his telepathic question through the apartment, but finally found her sitting, staring at a blank viewscreen. "Hey," he said, walking up and placing his hands on her shoulders. He massaged them gently.

"Hi," she said quietly, turning to look at him. "Marissa went ahead and filed for divorce. I just talked to Chris."

Will let his hands drop to his sides. "Damn," he swore. "How is he?"

"Not well. Marissa also moved out of their quarters. She’s serious about this, Will."

"She’s making a huge mistake," he sighed, letting his hands fall from her shoulders to hang limply at his sides.

"Yes, she is," Deanna agreed. She stood up and stretched next to her husband. "But, who are we to tell her that?"

"Her parents?" Will sat down heavily on their bed. "She’s going to make the same mistake I made, Deanna. I don’t want her or Chris to go through that."

"Maybe she has to go through it to find out who she really is, Will."

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. For twenty-two years, she thought she was the daughter of some man she’d never met and me. Then, she finds out that the man she’s spent her whole life trying to be like is her father. That turned her world upside down, and we both know it."

"She never acted out…acted like it upset her or changed her. She dated Chris, she married him, and they made a good life together."

"Until he got promoted to first officer. You and I both know the demands put on the first officer of any ship. Marissa doesn’t know that, and I think she’s just hard headed enough to refuse to accept those demands."

"You sound like you’re blaming her for whatever’s going on between them."

"I’m not just blaming her. I’m also blaming Chris. He should learn how to prioritize his time and balance his career with his family. However, by the same turn, Marissa should learn how to compromise with him and make things work."

"Hell, maybe they just married too young. She’s only twenty-nine."

Deanna chuckled quietly and reached over to rub her husband’s arm. "No, they didn’t marry too young, but they are acting like children."

"So when do we step in to bail her out of this?"

"We don’t," Deanna answered simply. "It’s not our responsibility. The only thing we have to do is stand by her and love her through this. And, I think we have to stand by Chris through it, too. He doesn’t have anyone."

"I know," Will answered heavily. "Hell, this is awful."

"What?" Deanna laughed.

"Growing up…with our children."

"Just think, we could always have had another one." Will raised his eyebrows up and laughed at the expression of horror on Deanna’s face.

"One is quite enough, Will. Especially, since she acts just like her father."

Will leaned over and kissed Deanna suggestively on the lips. She slid her arms around his neck and leaned into the kiss. "I hope she doesn’t act just like her father," he whispered against her lips as he pulled her down on the bed beside him. Deanna laughed and nodded her head in agreement with him. "I hope she doesn’t, either."

Chapter Six: The Final Goodbye

Somehow, a month and a half passed at warp speed. Chris heeded Marissa’s warning and stayed clear of her. Every once in a while he would catch sight of her in the lounge or passed near her in the corridors, and his heart would leap into his throat. Without realizing it, he reached out to her everytime with his mind, but Marissa kept her mental shields firmly in place. There were no cracks for him to break through, not that he would if he could since his mental discipline was woefully lacking. He hated going home at the end of every shift. He felt as if he had no home, a ship sailing without a port. There was nothing to keep him there, and no reason for him to stay. He went there only to sleep. The rest of the time, he spent either on the bridge doing extra duty shifts or in the lounge. Even in the lounge, he avoided people. Everyone seemed to have something to say about his and Marissa’s breakup. No one could believe it. Her parents’ romance was legendary in Starfleet, and it seemed everyone expected their daughter to be equally charmed in matters of the heart.

He sat in the lounge, far in the back, with his nose buried in a PADD. Although he looked thoroughly engrossed, Chris hadn’t a clue of what he was reading. The only thing he knew for sure was the title, in case anyone asked him. As he stared at the PADD, his mind raced, realizing this was the forty-fifth day. He had made no motions to contest the pending divorce decree, so he was now officially single. Again.

The PADD dropped onto the tabletop as his hands came up to rub his eyes. With the strike of a computer key, his marriage would be erased. It was unbelievable. He had spent six years married to the woman of his dreams, and almost a year before that getting to know her. Now, it was over. His fingers kneaded his temples as the pressure grew in his head.

"Someone told me you hang out in here," he heard from above. He stiffened before he removed his hands and looked up into an angelic face surrounded by an explosion of curls. His heart ached, his throat went dry, and his head felt as if it would explode. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but having no idea what would be appropriate to say. She raised her eyebrows and glanced at the chair across from him. "Mind if I sit?"

All Chris could do was nod his head and watch as she gracefully sank into the chair. She stared at him expectantly, but still he said nothing. She sighed, wove her fingers together, and rested her chin on them. "I haven’t struck you speechless in a long time."

Chris cleared his throat and finally found his voice. "Because I haven’t seen you in a long time."

"True." Marissa nodded her head and glanced over his shoulder, out the viewport. "So, why hang out in here?" She asked quietly, avoiding his gaze.

"It’s miserable in our quarters without you," he replied, hoping the truth would shock her more than a lie.

The last thing Marissa had been expecting was the total truth, and her face reflected it with the look of twisted pain that came quickly to her face. She shook her head slightly and changed the topic. "I thought I’d let you know. I received the final decree. As soon as you put your scan on it, you’re single again."

"What if I refuse to scan it?" Chris asked, folding his hands together on the table and staring directly at the woman he wasn’t ready to let go of forever.

Startled by the intensity of his tone, Marissa’s gaze skidded to his. "What do you mean?" She asked in a slightly panicked tone. "You’ve had over a month to contest the terms, Chris. If you weren’t happy with them, you should have done something about it sooner. What aren’t you happy with?"

"The terms that says I have to let you go. I’m not ready to let you go, Marissa. The thing is, I still love you."

"You let me go a long time ago, Chris."

"Dammit! You keep saying that, but if that was true, why do I feel like my heart is being ripped out everytime that I think I hear your voice, smell your perfume, or see you across a room? I still love you. I know I haven’t acted like it in a long time, and I’m sorry for that. Everyone makes mistakes, Marissa. I love you. Give me a chance to prove it," he begged.

Marissa rose to her feet. "You’ve had that chance for the past forty-five days, Chris," she said sadly. "All you had to do was contest the divorce." She shook her head. "Don’t you realize that if you had done that, I probably would have dropped it? You had a chance to show me that you still loved me, and you chose not to do anything about it." Then, she turned and started to walk away.

Something inside Chris snapped. He jumped up, knocked over his chair, and grabbed Marissa’s arm. "How could I have known that, Marissa? I’m not a mind reader. You told me you wanted a divorce, and for once in my selfish life I wanted to give you what you wanted."

A tear slowly rolled down Marissa’s face and she said in a choked voice, "When will you realize that all I’ve ever wanted is you?" Then, she yanked her arm away from Chris, wiped the tear off her face, and said quietly, "Goodbye Chris."

He reached out to grab her again, but she left hastily, never giving him the chance to touch her again. He slammed his fist down on the table and swore, "God dammit!" A few crewmembers glanced over at him, but all they saw was the young commander’s back as he stalked from the lounge. He caught sight of Marissa turning a corner and realized they were about to replay the same scene they’d played earlier when she had first told him about wanting a divorce.

This time, he touched her shoulder gently, summoned his courage, tried his damnedest to center himself, and thought, You cannot leave it like this, Marissa. You still love me and I still love you.

She stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and stared at him. He saw the shock in her eyes at his thought to her. Then, she moved closer to him and said very softly. "I am leaving it like this, Chris. The divorce is final, our marriage is over, and I’ve been transferred to the USS Destiny." She reached up and gently touched his face, and then she let her fingers slowly drop away from his face as she said for the last time, "Goodbye Chris."

Somewhere, he lost sight of her in the bustle of the busy corridor, but the imprint of her fingers remained for hours on his cheeks. The smell of her perfume and shampoo mingled together and stayed with him. The sadness on her face as she said goodbye to him lanced his soul, but all of this remained secondary to the pieces he felt of his heart fall to the floor and shattered with every step she took away from. It wasn’t just their marriage that was over, everything was over, and now, he had to find the pieces of his life, as did she, and rebuild them to move on to their new and separate lives. Still, as he lay in their, his, bed late that night he heard the oddest sound. It was the sound of shattering glass and nothing could block it out.