a personal essay
College essays annoy me, particularly those that ask for an account of some kind of life-changing experience. If the event had such a dramatic effect on one's life, one honestly could not fit it into a word count. It's rather amusing that this is the topic I ended up with. Perhaps I chose this topic because the other didn't suit me, but going through the last few drafts of this, I'm fairly certain that it's because I feel so strongly about some of the events in my life. My most "significant experience" would have to be my high school experience; taking AP classes, participating in clubs, playing in the marching band, making and breaking the friendships, the relationships, loosing my virginity, going to my first concert, getting my driver's license, and surviving the other events which were made so earth-shattering by the melodramatic outbursts of myself and my peers. But the entirety of my high school life cannot be summed up in 500 to 1000 words. There is one part, a more recent event, that I might be able to squeeze, though.
Before I start, let me get my views on the American school system out of the way. High school is as sexless, sterile, and consequently as ineffective as possible. The school board and officials will do anything they can to avoid controversial topics involving morality in any way, lest they inadvertently admit what exactly their supposedly morally impeccable students are actually doing at parties or in back-seats. I want to obliterate the notion that ignoring what society doesn't want to admit will make it go away, and I am.
I am bisexual, though I prefer the term "open-minded," and being open-minded, I saw many other gay or questioning students and the way they were discriminated against and harassed in school. I saw them turn to drugs and alcohol because they were afraid to speak with counselors and teachers. When Steven, one of my gay friends, was diagnosed with AIDS, I was devastated. I was also infuriated. The joke that is high school health addresses the actual topic of sex for about a week, mentioning safe sex briefly, rarely mentioning oral sex, and never mentioning homosexual sex acts. I started a Gay-Straight Alliance at my school to address how to deal with the emotional repercussions of homophobia, to educate teachers and counselors about how to help gay and questioning students, to educate my peers about sex and drugs and how to be safe.
It took me almost a year to start a Gay-Straight Alliance at my school to address homophobia, educate the educators, address safe sex, alcoholism, and drug addiction; only the school administration wouldn't let me call it a "Gay-Straight Alliance," a nationally recognized name, because it had the word gay in it, and discussing sex and drugs are absolutely out of the question. In our first meeting, which was about a month ago, we decided as a club that at the teacher inservice in the spring, we would put on a workshop for counselors. In our third meeting, which was a week and a half ago, we had a very emotional discussion about homophobia. Even though I can't accomplish everything that I wanted to with this club, it is a start to doing away with the impotence of the school system involving sex and sexuality.
And this, at word 560, is where I explain the effect that it had on my life. To do that, I'm going to have to drop the aloof, sarcastic tone that I've carried thus far in the essay. Let me be curt - the crap that I take at school for this club is really getting to me. I never want to have to hear the words "carpet licker" or "dyke" again, but inevitably I know that I will. I also know that while I've had the courage to stand up to the people who say those slurs and give them a piece of my mind, someone who joins the club I've started is going to stand up for themselves when they normally would have just shut up and taken it, and they'll stand up because they know that they have a support system - the club that I started. I've always been arrogant, but everyone has doubts. Often throughout the process of getting this club started, I've felt that maybe it wouldn't have any effect, maybe no one would come to the meetings, maybe it would do more harm than good. Now I know that this club has had an effect, and it's given me the satisfaction which is the reason why I do community service, and the reason why I get up in the morning.
I am going to make a difference. Whether it's by started a controversial club at my high school, or graduating from UNLV to go on and reform the educational system on a national level, my life has a purpose, and the experience I am having with this club is helping me achieve that.
fallen
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tuba town
la dee la dee da... just figured i'd write something in this space they have alotted me... is that how you spell "alotted"? "allotted"? "alloted"?
on love -"its like sex... its like tying someone down spread eagle and bringing them to the brink of ultimate release, then turning off the lights and leaving the room for a few hours" SILVERADO_LAS VEGAS_RIOT GRRLS_SEAMONKEY_TUBA_PHILOSOPHE_i SMITE THEE :P
© 1998 UrielsPoet@aol.com
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