Saturday
12/12/98
Once upon a time, there was a perfectly white castle in the middle of the forest. It was always night, and the moon was always full. It was always winter, and the castle with the forest was always covered in snow. From the tower, all you could see was white.
A little girl lived in the castle. She was always asleep. Her bed of stone was in the tower. She lay on the slab for centuries, while the snow covered her, while the roses grew and entwined around her. Her skin grew very pale and her lips turned blue.
One day, she woke up. It took her days to struggle out of the vines and snow that entrapped her. When she finally escaped, she was covered from cuts and bruises from the thorns. But she didn't bleed. She stood for a long time, looking out the single window for some light. When none came, she forced her legs to carry her across the snow to look outside for the moon. Her feet barely touched the floor.
At the window, all she saw was white. The moon glistened off of the snow covered forests for as far as she could see. Her beautiful castle was covered in a layer of ice. She couldn't see her garden from there, and turned to run.
She ran from the tower, down the stairs and almost fell because of the snow. She ran down and down, finally out the small door which lead to her secret garden. All of her beautiful flowers were covered in snow. But a few of the frozen rose bushes had grown up the side of the castle, into the window, and were that which entwined her.
"Did you protect me while I slept?" she wanted to ask. But her lips were too cold and her throat was frozen. Instead, she fell to her knees in the rose bed and wept for the first time in her life. She had slept for so many years so she wouldn't have to cry. She had frozen her castle, her garden, her roses, with her coldness and slumber in which she hid from herself. She wept and shook and tried to call out, but the only tear that would fall was a large, fat, round one which rolled off the tip of her nose while her face was looked toward the earth.
It took a millennium for that tear to fall into the snow. It took a century, but the snow around it melted and a sprout began to grow. It took a decade, but the plant grew and sprouted a rose blossom that touched her lips.
The new rose was pink and gold and red, and when it touched her, all of the colour came back into her face. Her red lips and the beautiful rose were the only colours in the years of white.
She wept again. This time where her tears fell, the grass came through and became green. Her garden was beautiful again. Her tears of pain turned to tears of joy. She danced in her garden, and screamed with release, and her happy tears fell all around. The tears landed on her white, flat slip and it slowly transformed into the beautiful, full red gown she had always loved to wear. Her tears touched her long, white hair and turned it to the golden brown it had always been.
Eventually, her tears slowed and she closed her eyes with a smile.
When she opened them again, it was snowing. He smile slowly faded away. The snow on the forest grew thicker, and on the castle. The green patch which was her garden began to grow smaller and smaller until the only thing left was that beautiful flower her tears had first sprung. She knelt beside it, watching the white creep into her dress, but before she could touch it a snowflake snaked in between her fingers and landed on the blossom, immediately turning it into ice like the rest of the world. She touched it anyway, and tried to warm it with her hands, but it only fell into shards of ice into the snow.
She turned her face to the heavens and screamed in anguish before a snowflake fell onto the tip of her nose and took all the colour away. She stood, as she had before, with pale skin and white hair and blue lips in the cold, white slip.
Her tears hadn't been enough to break through her eternity of coldness and loneliness. She had pushed everyone away and surrounded herself with nothing but frozen waste. She had destroyed all of the beauty and life that she could have had. She had slept to dream and dreamt of being alone. She had isolated herself. No one could touch her ever again.
What could break through this ice? This layer of everything, of nothing, that she had built between herself and warmth.... She shivered and turned back to the castle.
She walked through the huge iced ballroom where once she admired the beautifully embroidered tapestries and she held company, most of which she hadn't liked, but there had always been a few people... The thought and remembrance made her smile. But only for a moment.
She walked into the next room, the library where she had wasted so much time studying the empty numbers and facts that they pushed onto her.
She turned from there, and walked down the long hall, where she could almost hear her mother screaming from the back bedroom. She cringed and stopped, then continued.
Finally, she reached the end of the hall, and slowly pushed open the large oak door to the last bedroom. She stepped in, eyes shut against the memories and what she was afraid she would see. Slowly, she opened them and wanted to scream again, but again she couldn't. This room wasn't like the others. Against the cold white snow, there were streaks, slashes of red. There were fat splots of red on the walls, on the bed... and a trail... to whatever lay on the other side of the bed, just beyond where she could see...
Her mother's slipper...
She stared, wide-eyed, at her mother's red slipper laying on the floor. She didn't want to, and tried to turn away, but took two slow steps forward. She could see her mother's leg, so thin and beautiful. Two more steps and she could see her mother's beautiful gold dress covering her beautiful silken skin. She could see all but her mother's face. It took another eternity for her to take the last two steps.
Her mother's once beautiful, expressive eyes were locked open in a blank stare. She lay on the floor stiffly.
The little girl spun and looked at the walls, the floor, the red spots. Everything was frozen but where the red touched. The red broke through the ice. The red was the only thing that would last forever and take away the snow.
She ran.
She ran from the bedroom, through the hall, through the library and the ballroom, up the stairs, into the tower. It took her days more to fight back through the frozen rose bushes to her pillow. She pulled it aside, and found her golden dagger. The snow couldn't touch the dagger as happiness couldn't touch her ever again.
She fought back through the roses, and was torn by the thorns again. This time, a single droplet of red rolled down her arms to the end of one of her fingertips. She flung it from the window and watched it fall to the forest. It took hours for droplet to fall into the whiteness. But when it did, a circle of colour engulfed it.
She smiled with glee and rose the dagger to restore the colour and life that she had once destroyed... Once upon a time, there was a perfectly white castle in the middle of the forest. It was always night, and the moon was always full. It was always winter, and the castle with the forest was always covered in snow. From the tower, all you could see was white.
A little girl lived in the castle. She was always asleep. Her bed of stone was in the tower. She lay on the slab for centuries, while the snow covered her, while the roses grew and entwined around her. Her skin grew very pale and her lips turned blue.
One day, she woke up. It took her days to struggle out of the vines and snow that entrapped her. When she finally escaped, she was covered from cuts and bruises from the thorns. But she didn't bleed. She stood for a long time, looking out the single window for some light. When none came, she forced her legs to carry her across the snow to look outside for the moon. Her feet barely touched the floor.
At the window, all she saw was white. The moon glistened off of the snow covered forests for as far as she could see. Her beautiful castle was covered in a layer of ice. She couldn't see her garden from there, and turned to run.
She ran from the tower, down the stairs and almost fell because of the snow. She ran down and down, finally out the small door which lead to her secret garden. All of her beautiful flowers were covered in snow. But a few of the frozen rose bushes had grown up the side of the castle, into the window, and were that which entwined her.
"Did you protect me while I slept?" she wanted to ask. But her lips were too cold and her throat was frozen. Instead, she fell to her knees in the rose bed and wept for the first time in her life. She had slept for so many years so she wouldn't have to cry. She had frozen her castle, her garden, her roses, with her coldness and slumber in which she hid from herself. She wept and shook and tried to call out, but the only tear that would fall was a large, fat, round one which rolled off the tip of her nose while her face was looked toward the earth.
It took a millennium for that tear to fall into the snow. It took a century, but the snow around it melted and a sprout began to grow. It took a decade, but the plant grew and sprouted a rose blossom that touched her lips.
The new rose was pink and gold and red, and when it touched her, all of the colour came back into her face. Her red lips and the beautiful rose were the only colours in the years of white.
She wept again. This time where her tears fell, the grass came through and became green. Her garden was beautiful again. Her tears of pain turned to tears of joy. She danced in her garden, and screamed with release, and her happy tears fell all around. The tears landed on her white, flat slip and it slowly transformed into the beautiful, full red gown she had always loved to wear. Her tears touched her long, white hair and turned it to the golden brown it had always been.
Eventually, her tears slowed and she closed her eyes with a smile.
When she opened them again, it was snowing. He smile slowly faded away. The snow on the forest grew thicker, and on the castle. The green patch which was her garden began to grow smaller and smaller until the only thing left was that beautiful flower her tears had first sprung. She knelt beside it, watching the white creep into her dress, but before she could touch it a snowflake snaked in between her fingers and landed on the blossom, immediately turning it into ice like the rest of the world. She touched it anyway, and tried to warm it with her hands, but it only fell into shards of ice into the snow.
She turned her face to the heavens and screamed in anguish before a snowflake fell onto the tip of her nose and took all the colour away. She stood, as she had before, with pale skin and white hair and blue lips in the cold, white slip.
Her tears hadn't been enough to break through her eternity of coldness and loneliness. She had pushed everyone away and surrounded herself with nothing but frozen waste. She had destroyed all of the beauty and life that she could have had. She had slept to dream and dreamt of being alone. She had isolated herself. No one could touch her ever again.
What could break through this ice? This layer of everything, of nothing, that she had built between herself and warmth.... She shivered and turned back to the castle.
She walked through the huge iced ballroom where once she admired the beautifully embroidered tapestries and she held company, most of which she hadn't liked, but there had always been a few people... The thought and remembrance made her smile. But only for a moment.
She walked into the next room, the library where she had wasted so much time studying the empty numbers and facts that they pushed onto her.
She turned from there, and walked down the long hall, where she could almost hear her mother screaming from the back bedroom. She cringed and stopped, then continued.
Finally, she reached the end of the hall, and slowly pushed open the large oak door to the last bedroom. She stepped in, eyes shut against the memories and what she was afraid she would see. Slowly, she opened them and wanted to scream again, but again she couldn't. This room wasn't like the others. Against the cold white snow, there were streaks, slashes of red. There were fat splots of red on the walls, on the bed... and a trail... to whatever lay on the other side of the bed, just beyond where she could see...
Her mother's slipper...
She stared, wide-eyed, at her mother's red slipper laying on the floor. She didn't want to, and tried to turn away, but took two slow steps forward. She could see her mother's leg, so thin and beautiful. Two more steps and she could see her mother's beautiful gold dress covering her beautiful silken skin. She could see all but her mother's face. It took another eternity for her to take the last two steps.
Her mother's once beautiful, expressive eyes were locked open in a blank stare. She lay on the floor stiffly.
The little girl spun and looked at the walls, the floor, the red spots. Everything was frozen but where the red touched. The red broke through the ice. The red was the only thing that would last forever and take away the snow.
She ran.
She ran from the bedroom, through the hall, through the library and the ballroom, up the stairs, into the tower. It took her days more to fight back through the frozen rose bushes to her pillow. She pulled it aside, and found her golden dagger. The snow couldn't touch the dagger as happiness couldn't touch her ever again.
She fought back through the roses, and was torn by the thorns again. This time, a single droplet of red rolled down her arms to the end of one of her fingertips. She flung it from the window and watched it fall to the forest. It took hours for droplet to fall into the whiteness. But when it did, a circle of colour engulfed it.
She smiled with glee and rose the dagger to restore the colour and life that she had once destroyed...
- fallen
previous thoughts of the day
Wednesday, 12/2/98
Teusday, 12/1/98
Sunday, 11/29/98
Saturday, 11/21/98
Monday, 10/21/98
Tuesday, 10/13/98
Monday, 10/12/98
Sunday, 10/4/98
Friday, 10/2/98
Monday, 9/28/98
Sunday, 9/27/98
Saturday, 9/26/98
Friday, 9/25/98
Thursday, 9/24/98
Monday, 9/21/98
Saturday, 9/19/98
Friday, 9/18/98
Wednesday, 9/16/98
Monday, 9/14/98
Sunday, 9/13/98
Thursday, 9/10/98
Wednesday, 9/9/98
Monday, 9/7/98
Sunday, 9/6/98
Thursday, 9/3/98
Wednesday, 9/2/98
Saturday, 8/30/98
Thursday, 8/28/98
Wednesday, 8/27/98
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