Wednesday
2/17/99
Thoughts...do what you'd like with them. Ignore them even if you wish...
Whispered phone calls. I call, because...because I'm realizing the things he knew. He speaks, and I feel myself sinking. As if my room is being filled with water. Like swimming in my room, my room filled with moon-lit water. And I'm drowning. The water clogging my throat and stinging my eyes, and I can't breathe. He's saying all the things I said...
Rephrase...reword. Reversal...
A month I heard the same words I kept clenched inside my throat. He reworded the problem, the perfect grammatical English student. Just like the discussion questions of English, Anatomy, and tests...But, this time it wasn't my test. It was his. It was ours. I'd put him through the test, now he put me through his own. But, it's not test day.
Today is the day of the Role Reversal. Where I keep clenched inside my throat all the words he'd said. But, instead I hold back. Instead I digress. And I tell him all the things I'm supposed to say. That no matter what, I would support him. I would stand beside, behind. I would be here, always. That as only I could-would-should do I would open my arms and let the bird fly in hopes that it would fly right back out of love.
My breath just wanted to come out...to say that I am sad. That I am scared. That more then anything I trust him. That maybe this wouldn't be perfect...
I remember everytime there was ever a scare he'd pray. He'd pray for my unformed fetus that wasn't there. He prayed for our well being. Now I pray. Not that he'll come back, not that he'll say all the things I wish I could hear...no, now I pray for the strength to over come the things to come. To conquer the hard parts.
Dear God,
Please help me...please...
- emily
previous thoughts of the day
The Collective Mind
Primal... by Elkantar
Brad #11
Crush
Thought of My Day... by Elkantar
excerpts from my dissertation on life
Knee-high, Leather, 6 inch Heels
Jesus
I'm doubting everything lately... rohandor
Pride noiraranea
"I am woman" dollpini
the Dream Train
excerpts
I Do Not Want This... by Trent
There once was a little girl... 2 (y'all better read this one...)
Everything
Thank You
Wrestling Woman Inards
School and Psychoanalysis...
Vengeance!!!
Brandon
listening to Bush and feeling sassy...
There once was a little girl.... 1
I want to believe
Timing by rohandor
...for you have left your first love.
On Love
the Mystical, Magical Land of Algebra2
Something Wicked This Way Comes
What does one do?
Cold Sweat Nightmares
Hate Me
Personal Inventory by Dollphini
First Contact, with Kyle
:::whispers::: Lime-Green Elephant
"They say that sex between two people who really hate each other..."
Boys are Yucky
What happens if we all fall down?
Vegas
BluesMan84
Politics and Wealth
The Nature of God
The Nature of Man
Beauty
Only the Good Die Young by Dollphini
Ode to Shawn
poetry
the embrace
about me
links
© 1998 UrielsPoet@aol.com
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