Monday
9/7/98
BluesMan84: i love your hair!
BluesMan84: it's cool, what can I say?
UrielsPoet: you don't have to deal with it everyday... it's obnoxious and ugly... but that's my personal opinion
BluesMan84: well i imagine it would be hard to control but i like it
BluesMan84: Work with me here for a minute. We've known eachother for two weeks right? Does'nt it seem like longer? I don't want to sound cliche here but doesn't it?
UrielsPoet: no. time has flown. it feels like you went away, or i went away, for a very long time and now you're back
BluesMan84: you could look at it that way
UrielsPoet: how do you look at it?
BluesMan84: now, the same way you do
UrielsPoet: and before?
BluesMan84: actually, I guess we looked at it the same way, just thought about it differently
UrielsPoet: how do you know so much? and what do you know?
BluesMan84: more specific
BluesMan84: how do i know so much about what?
UrielsPoet: how do you know how i feel? or what i'm going through? and what do you think i feel?
BluesMan84: Honestly, I'm not sure. I've had a few experiences similar to yours. I have an ability or maybe a curse, to put myself in others situations. I don't do very much with other people so I like to spend my time thinking about things.
BluesMan84: I probably should do less thinking and more experiencing.
UrielsPoet: so you don't know, you assume?
BluesMan84: normally I would say yes but with you it's different.
BluesMan84: with you the emotions are much more vivid, much more deeper.
UrielsPoet: "more deeper"? how do you know? what do you feel?
BluesMan84: I don't know, that's the thing.
UrielsPoet: you have to know... i thought you knew a lot of things
BluesMan84: perhaps you were mistaken.
BluesMan84: I study people, I've been doing this so long I can just imagine what they're going through.
UrielsPoet: :::sighs::: i'm not like them
BluesMan84: Im a spectator of life, not a participant.
UrielsPoet: how can you assume we're all the same? and i, too, observe people.
BluesMan84: I don't assume everybody's the same, i've drawn conclusions from many sources.
BluesMan84: you are by far different.
UrielsPoet: then how do you know me?
BluesMan84: This I do not know.
UrielsPoet: you don't know me
BluesMan84: I do not pretend to understand all of lives mysterys. I am at most a reciprocator.
BluesMan84: You are going way beyond me. Listen to what i'm going to say.
UrielsPoet: :::snorts::: why should i listen?
BluesMan84: True I don't understand you. I am trying my best but I can simply not comprehend it. I stay up nights thinking about. You are by far different than anyone I have ever known. You are so perplexing to me that I have had to completely rearrange my views about life.
BluesMan84: This is my view on the matter.
BluesMan84: This conversation has really taken a turn.
UrielsPoet: ouch...
BluesMan84: meaning?
UrielsPoet: it hurts.
UrielsPoet: the only thing i've ever wanted for as long as i can remember is for someone to understand me. you've once again managed to find a soft spot.
BluesMan84: Is that good or bad?
UrielsPoet: i don't know
BluesMan84: I do understand you. Not as much as I would like to know but I try as hard as I can.
BluesMan84: Are you ok?
BluesMan84: I sense something is wrong.
UrielsPoet: you odn't understand! how can you say that? you don't know anything about me! you don't believe a word i say! nothing i say even matters... it's all a big joke and i'm so unattractive it hurts to look at myself in a mirror... i hate mirrors... i hate myself... and i hate being mocked... no, i'm not ok
BluesMan84: I beileve every word you say! You are by far the most beautiful person I have ever met! I am not mocking you damn it. You don't know how much it hurts for me to see you act like this.
UrielsPoet: act like what? this is how i am!!! no one understands that!!! i am an insecure little girl inside who's been kicked so many times, she kicks herself when no one's around... this is who i am... welcome to my world
- UrielsPoet
previous thoughts of the day
Sunday, 9/6/98
Thursday, 9/3/98
Wednesday, 9/2/98
Saturday, 8/30/98
Thursday, 8/28/98
Wednesday, 8/27/98
poetry
the embrace
about me
links
© 1998 UrielsPoet@aol.com
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