Dear ---
I am very sorry that you don't enjoy my company. I thought that the one time we did meet, we got along fairly well. Apparently, that wasn't the case. I feel a deep sense of regret and pity for you, that you cannot find the strength within yourself to criticize my personal hygiene habits to me. It must be tough, going through life without any courage or bravery whatsoever. I only hope that you manage to find enough self esteem to get a girlfriend (I have much pity for you there, as well. I would lend you one of my x-girlfriends, but I doubt that you would ever be able to please them nearly as well as I can, with your lack of experience and all) so that you do not have to sneak behind people's backs and go to their current romantic interest to voice your opinions. Honestly, if I were that jealous of someone's happy relationship, I would just go to the girl and tell her how I felt, but I understand that you have some unresolved homophobic "issues," and wish you the best of luck in getting through life with such narrow-minded points of view.
If you still have problems with my personal (personal - "of or pertaining to one's own body" -Mirriam-Webster, 1972 (I apologize for not having a more updated copy)) shaving habits, please get your head out of your ass, shave your legs and underarms every day for a week (which will cost approximately $25 and take a total of 3.5 hours) and get a firsthand opinion on the subject. :::whispers::: I'll tell you a secret... Just because the girls on TV glue their ears to the sides of their heads, dye their hair blonde, and get "breast augmentation" done at birth does not mean that we all look like that and/or are interested in closed-minded chauvinists such as yourself.
If you are really interested in girls, I suggest that you accept the fact that your God put hair on women, too, and that you stop bashing any women who you feel threaten your masculinity. I apologize for being more of a man than you are.
---
-your
fallen
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