"so i ran faster..."


.......(he said "you're really an ugly girl, but i like the way you play...")........











Run Faster.


"so i ran faster.
he said 'you're really an ugly girl
but i like the way you
play'
...
but i thanked him...
...
i want to smash their faces
all the beautiful boys
those christian boys
so you can make me cum
that doesn't make you jesus..."

baptist. southern baptist anal experimental raised cold and
refusing to open up
to me.
i'm lonely did you notice?
my boyfriend: southern baptist cold spent lost and questioning.
strong.
it's ridiculous to me. that he won't open up. he doesn't let me touch him. he doesn't let me. and he won't stop. he's all over me, he takes so much, he expects so much.
can i be open? the following is only trust
~~i thought that i was frigid. it's boys that do it. to me. they remind me. and sex. i'm a massochist. saddists find me and force me and i do. i do. but i never get off. and this southern baptist boy with the mr. dead emotions is so attentive and so needy that he needs me to and i try so hard nad i do. so i'm not frigid and he holds it over me and it's sex. it's sex and it's always sex. in public places, cars, forever, adn he doesn't listen. i'm fucking lonely. he doesn't let me touch him. he doesn't smile unless he's horny. i'm lonely.~~ that doesn't make him jesus...

"these precious things
let them bleed
let them wash away..."

there is so much power in clood, my scars never heal, i'm am closed. i am not full, i have lost parts of myself, i am half of a wheel. i spin and get no where. i'm cold. i'm cold. i'm cold and i'm... spent.
fire!
oh, i'm not spent. it's so frustrating... it's so... frustrating. to be so... fervent about things. to be so riled, emotional, feel so much, intensity, too much.
fuck.


i'm lonely. i can't do this. and yet again, i have put off responding to the issues.

"so i ran faster"


fallen










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