Jingle Rob
Sung to the tune of "Jingle Bells"
This is a very violent song, and makes refences to politicial situations (not much, but I have to say it.). Some of the information may not be suitable for young children. You are warned now. In Jingle Rob, "rob" can be replaced with and two sylable name that has a one sylable shortened version. (ie: David and Dave) This song was created with help from my friends Eric and Brahm.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle up and down.
Throw him up really high,
And watch him hit the ground.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle side to side.
Isn1t it a joy to see
The wall and him collide?
Dashing through the snow,
Just missing Robert's brain.
Isn't is just great to see
Him hollering in pain?
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Any way at all.
Put him in a costume,
And leave him in the mall.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle round and round.
Ain't it fun to take his face,
And then pound and pound?
Dashing on the ice,
Slipping quite erratic.
Going after Robert
With a semi-automatic!
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle by and by.
Give his face a real hard punch,
And then watch him fly.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle here and there.
Put him in a catapult,
And sail him through the air.
Dashing through the snow,
Forget the open carriage.
All you need to stop him
Is a missile barrage.
Send the missiles launching,
Away through the air.
Oh darn shucks they missed him,
They just scraped off his hair.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Never stop to rest.
All this fun, killing Rob.
Isn't it the best?
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Dashing through the snow.
If you want to torture him,
Send him to Parrizo.
Dashing through the sleet,
Prey is growing stauncher.
Rob's been hiding better
Since you got that rocket launcher.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Let the rockets sail.
Wait until he's broken,
Then hear him cry out hail!
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Idiot supreme.
Take his head and punch it,
And listen to him scream.
Dashing through the snow,
Wait until he smiles.
Then go out and beat him,
Keep going for a while.
Do not reconsider.
It's really quite alright.
Beat him in the morning,
The afternoon and night.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Something here is wrong.
I just can not stop myself
From singing this stupid song.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
We will never stop.
Drop him in a vat of acid.
Listen to him go plop!
Dashing through the town,
We made a Robert lunch.
Scooped out all his brains,
Sat and loudly munched.
It really was quite good.
Delicious every bite.
The only thing I grieve,
Tiny it was quite.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
It really is quite fun
To send him into a forest,
And give the animals guns.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
You really must try
To light stupid Rob on fire,
And watch him slowly fry.
Dashing right along,
Poison all his food.
It really doesn't matter
If it's rather rude.
He'll never know who did it.
He shortly will be dead.
Then you can come stuff and mount
His rather useless head.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Watch him try and hide.
Hunt him out and give him
A dose of cyanide.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle really fast.
Book him on the Titanic,
And tie him to the mast.
Dashing through the slush,
Watching Robert go.
We're having him chased
By a great mugger named Joe.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle here to hell.
Get a pike or lance and then,
Run it through his scull.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Tell him that he's won.
Then shove him in a compactor
And happily turn it on.
Dashing everywhere,
Training your reactions.
Getting really anxious
To put Rob in traction.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle till he's red.
Fry him with your flame thrower.
Roast marshmallows on his head.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle far away.
We really do sincerely hope
That that is where he'll stay.
Dashing through the rain,
Slicing through the snow.
Rob is being attacked
By a real life G. I. Joe.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle really hard.
Bring him to a factory,
And dip his head in lard.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle till he's drunk.
Shoot him with an arrow,
And listen for the thunk.
Dashing through the street,
Torture is our aim.
Turn Rob to titanium,
Then light him aflame.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle far and wide.
Skin him for the fun of it,
Make a jacket with his hide.
Jingle Rob, Jingle Rob,
Jingle oh so much.
Put him in a trash compactor,
Soon he will go crush!
Dashing through the snow,
Singing lots of prose.
Get in front of Rob,
Punch him in the nose.
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