Humorous definitions

  Smile     :- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
 
  Rumor     :- News that travels at the speed of sound.
 
  Dictionary:- The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
 
  College   :- A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
 
  Ecstasy   :- A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have  never felt before.
 
  Office    :- A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
 
  Yawn      :- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
 
  Etc.      :- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you  actually do.
 
  Committee :- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide  that nothing can be done together.
 
  Classic   :- A book which people praise, but do not read.
 
  Marriage  :- It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and  woman gains her master's.
 
  Worry     :- Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
 
  Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
 
  Tears     :- The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by  feminine power.
 
  Atom Bomb :- An invention to end all inventions.
 
  Philosopher:-A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when  dead.
 
  Diplomat  :- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you  actually look forward to the trip.
 
  Optimist  :- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a  river.
 
  Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of  the  first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
 
  Miser     :- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
 
  Father    :- A banker provided by nature.
 
  Criminal  :- A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
 
  Boss      :- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are  early.
 
  Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence  after.
 
  Doctor    :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and  kills you with his  bills.