Diwali

A young second generation Indian in the US, explaining the significance
of Diwali to his younger brother. This is how he would go about
describing its sorce from the Ramayana.

So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.
But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kindofa bitch and she forced
her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national
forest or something...since he was going, for like, something like more
than 10 years or so..he decided to get his wife and his bro along..you
know...so that they could all chill out together.

But DUDE, the forest was reeeeaaaall scary shit..really man..they had
monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass
with darts and bows and arrows...so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his
babe (sita) and lures her away to his hood.  And boy, was our man, and
also his bro, Lakshman, pissed..And you Don't piss this son-of-a-gun
cuz, he just kicks ass and like, all the gods were with him..

So anyway, you don't mess with gods.  So, Ram, and his bro get an army
of monkeys..dude, don't ask me  how they trained the damn monkeys..just
go along with me, ok..so, Ram, Laksh. and their monkeys whip this
gangsta's ass in his own hood. Anyway, by this time, their time's up in
the forest...and anyway...it gets kind of boring, you know...no TV or
mall or shit like that.

So, they decided to hitch a ride back home...and when the people
realize that, like,  our dude, his bro and the wife are back home...they
thought, well,  you know, at least they deserve something nice... and
they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...so they couldn't
take him out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and
since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...so it was
priitttty cool...you know with all those fireworks..really, they  even
had some local musicians play along with the fireworks..  and you know,
what, dude, that was the very first, I kid you not, that was the very
first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July
stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know.

And, so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival started.  Cool !