================================
 MEN ARE MARVELOUS CREATURES
================================

 If you kiss him, he kisses you back
 If you don't, he patiently waits
 If you praise him, he says thanks you
 If you don't, he feels secure in yourlove
 If you agree to all his likes, you havemet your fantasy man
 If you don't, you still get along
 If you visit him often, he welcomes youevery time
 If you don't, he'll visit you instead
 If you are well dressed, he says youare beautiful
 If you don't, you are still beautiful
 If you are jealous, he reassures you and holds you
 If you're not, he gives you no reason to be
 If you attempt a romance, he sweeps you off your feet
 If you don't, he'll love you from afar
 If you are a minute late, he is grateful for your arrival
 If he is late, he apologizes and makes it up to you
 If you visit another man, he is secure that you love only him
 If he is visited by another woman, you are secure that he loves only
you
 If you kiss him once in a while, he's appreciative of your affection
 If you kiss him often, he will always have you on his mind
 If he fails to help you in crossing the street, you know you're a big
girl
 If he does, he shows that he'll always be there for you
 If you stare at another man, he knows that you're only admiring
 If he is stared at by other women, you know why -- he's one hot babe
 If you talk, he'll always listen
 If you listen, he'll tell you anything you want to know

 In short:

    So complex, yet so direct
    So strong, yet so supportive
    So dazzling, yet so humble
    So passionate, yet so marvelous...

 ===========================
 WOMEN ARE COMPLEX CREATURES
 ===========================

 If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
 If you don't, you are not a man
 If you praise her, she thinks you arelying
 If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you area wimp
 If you don't, you are not understanding
 If you visit her often, she thinks itis boring
 If you don't, she accuses you ofdouble-crossing
 If you are well dressed, she says youare a playboy
 If you don't, you are a dull boy
 If you are jealous, she says it's bad
 If you don't, she thinks you do notlove her
 If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
 If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
 If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
 If she is late, she says that's agirl's way
 If you visit another woman, you're notputting in "qualitytime"
 If she is visited by another man, "ohit's natural, we are girls"
 If you kiss her once in a while, she
professes you are cold
 If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
 If you fail to help her in crossing thestreet, you lack ethics
 If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
 If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
 If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
  If you talk, she wants you to listen
  If you listen, she wants you to talk
 
  In short:
 
    So simple, yet so complex
    So weak, yet so powerful
    So confusing, yet so desirable
    So damning, yet so wonderful.....WOMEN!