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Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
 A: The cake jumps out of the girl.
 
 Q: How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
 A: A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
 
 Q: If you are having sex with two women and one more woman walks
 in, =
 what
 do
 you have?
 A: Divorce proceedings, most likely.
 
 Q: How do you get your wife to scream while you are having an
 orgasm?
 A: Call her and tell her where you are.
 
 Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
 A: You can go to sleep with a light on.
 
 Q: How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
 A: They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the
 end =
 you
 lose your house.
 
 Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing
off?
 A: Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.
 
 Q: What is the similarity between a woman and Kentucky Fried
 Chicken?
 A: By the time you've finished with the breast and thighs, all
you
 have
 left
 is a greasy box to pop your bone in.
 
 Q: What's the difference between a BONUS and a PENIS?
 A: Your wife will blow your bonus.
 
 Q: What's the difference between a wife and a job?
 A: After 20 years, the job STILL sucks.
 
 Q: What is Rodeo Sex?
 A: Well, it's where your wife is on all fours, you are  firmly =
 ensconced
 from the rear with a breast in each hand, and you say to her:
"This
 is
 =
 the
 way your sister likes it too." You have eight seconds to stay in
 the
 saddle.
 
 Q: If you go to bed 9 hours before you have to wake up, and your
 wife
 =
 wants
 to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?
 A: 8 hours, 59 minutes - who cares what she wants?!
 
 Q: Why do married men like blowjobs so much?
 A: 15 minutes of silence.
 
 Q: What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in
common?
 A: They can both smell it but can't eat it.
 
 Q: How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
 A: Put a nipple on it.
 
 Q: If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you
what
 have =
 you
 done wrong?
 A: Made her chain too long.