The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him.

Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive and potentially violent --but they make great pets.

Men's brains are like the prison system -- not enough cells per man.

Husbands are like children -- they're fine if they're someone else's.

Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.

Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.

Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.