What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it!

Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

How is being at the singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk!

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving!

Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract!

Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit fowl odors, and don't work half the time!

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes!

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One.....men will screw anything!