Little Johnny and Jane are playing in the garden when they start having an argument about whether boys are better than girls.
After a while Johnny stands up and pulls down his shorts saying ‘Boys are better than girls ‘cos you haven’t got one of these!!’.
Jane looks at him in astonishment, as she knows that she hasn’t got one of those between her legs. She bursts out crying and rushes inside to her mother. A little while later she comes back out with a big smile on her face.
‘My mum says girls are better than boys’, she says.
‘No they’re not.’ says Johnny pulling
down his shorts, ‘You haven’t got one of these!’.
Jane looks at him, then raises her
skirt, pulls down her panties and says ‘My mum says that as long
as I’ve got one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!!’
Have you ever read this ... ... ...
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. And on this day, the teacher asked the class where they thought God lived. One little girl raised her hand, and the teacher called upon her.
"I think God lives in the sky, because that is where heaven is." the girl replied. "That's good!" said the teacher.
Another little boy raised his hand,
and the teacher called on him. "And where do you think God lives?" she
asked. Very piously, the boy answered "God lives in each of our hearts!"
"That's VERY good," she smiled.
When she asked a third time, Little Johnny was the only one who raised his hand. Quietly dreading his answer, the teacher asked, "And where do you think God lives, Johnny?"
"In the bathroom." he said.
"In the bathroom?" she asked, puzzled yet unable to stop her.
"Yes, because every morning my father
knocks on the bathroom door and screams 'GOOD GOD, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?'
"
________________________________________________________________
hang on ... ... ... here
is another.............
A guy gets a job working in Alaska at a remote oil pumping station.
When he gets there he notices that there are no women for hundreds of miles. As soon as he got the opportunity he asked his supervisor what they did for women.
“Well,” replied the supervisor. “We really have no access to women. If you feel the urge there is a barrel with a hole in it behind the building. You can use the hole.”
A few days later the guy is feeling horny and decides to give the hole in the barrel a try. It is the best sex he has ever had.
The following day he is talking with his supervisor and tells him that the hole in the barrel was great. “It’s so good I’m going to use it every day,” he exclaimed.
“Every day but Thursday,” replied the supervisor.
“What’s wrong with Thursday?”
“Thursday is your
day in the barrel.”
A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge man standing next to him.
The big guy looks down upon the small guy and says “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown.”
The small guy faints!!!!!! The big guy picks up the small guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him and asks the small guy “What’s wrong, what wrong with you?”
The small guy says; “Excuse me but what did you say?”
The big dude looks down and says “7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Thank god, I thought you said, “Turn round.”
I have to tell you this before you leave......
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can’t see each other using sign language.
After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.
“Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you do not want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.
The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife,
“Great idea" he said.
" Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull
on my penis one time. If you don’t want to
have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty
times”
I wonna go back 