I don't think I'll ever remember her real name. But when
you go to
the upstairs bar at the Viper Room, you'll know her when you see her.
She's got blond hair usually pulled back, when it's not cut short.
Her body is skinny. But not skinny like health club skinny; it's more
like her body is thin because she's been amped on crystal-meth and
hasn't eaten in weeks (not really, of course). She gets her name
because tattooed on the middle of the back of her neck, is a black
ankh. You know, the cross with the loop at the top. She's always
in a tank top, or some other type of top to show off her tattoo.
Well, now that you know what to look for, let me tell you about her
drinks. Hmmm....where do I begin?.....oh yeah.......STRONG!
Of course, they're not as strong as Tina's at the Dragonfly, but if
you order a mixed drink, you'll do the chicken walk trying to get the
first couple sips down. After you shed your feathers, you'll enjoy
the way she works the bar. Up and down, non-stop, taking orders
and pouring them up. Of course, would you expect anything slower
with all that crank in her system?
MC - 2/19/97
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You'll know which one Billy is by finding the bartender who
doesn't
look old enough to even serve liquor. In the past, he always worked
the temporary bar. But lately, he's been working the main bar. This
guy is one of the quickest bartenders to warm up to people. Buy a
few rounds, and he will start to remember your orders, look for you
in the crowd, and pour some kick ass drinks. Leave him a descent
tip early in the night, and he'll become your personal bartender for
the remainder. There's not really a whole lot to say about Billy. But,
if you stop in this typical South Bay bar, and you want to tie one
on, Billy the Kid will definitely come to your rescue.
MC - 4/29/97
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El Torito is El Torito is El Torito. The only thing that
can really set
them apart is the quality of the bartender. The one in Beverly Hills
has one of the more amicable bartenders. Jose' Luis will treat you
right. Beside pouring about the best drinks allowed at El Torito (they
are very strict in their pouring policies), he fun to check out if you
sit at the counter. One time, we were there during the NHL playoffs
and a blizzard of bets were being thrown around between him and
our group. We left before the end of the game, so we only found
out later that he had lost a game to some one in our group
(Bartenders Monthly's Greg G.). The next time we returned to El
Torito, about 3 months later, not only did he pay up on his bet,
but bought Greg a drink to boot! El Torito's are pretty run of the
mill. But a good crowd and a good bartender can turn an average
time into a great one. Viva Jose' Luis!
MC - 4/29/97
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When you go to Trader Vic's, Ming is the man to see. He
usually
works the left end of the bar (if you're facing it) near the waiter's
station. Bottom line......the man is Ming the Merciless. He makes
THE best Mai-Tai of any of the bartenders. Every alcohol and mixer
is perfectly balanced. With the other bartenders, you usually get
either too much lime, or too much sweet & sour, or too much
whatever. Ming's Mai-Tais are perfect. And if you want to get your
ass kicked, check out his Queen's Park. The thing will crush you.
At least, if your car is low on fuel, you could squeeze an extra
mile or two out of it by pouring this in the tank. Granted, we've
gotten to know Ming over the years, but his service is great. Even
early on, if you ordered a few rounds from him, he'd start to spot
you in the crowd. All you had to do was show him how many, and
he'd pour whatever your drinking, and have them ready by the time
you made it through the crowd to the bar. Now, that's a bartender!
MC - 2/19/97
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This bitch rocks! And, I'm definitely using
"bitch" in the most
affectionate way possible. Tina is definitely the #1 LA bartender in
my book. I'd give you her hair color, but it often changes. She
started a brunette, then she went blonde, God only know what
color it is now. Her body is perfect, and she's always in tank tops
to show off her great chest. Her drinks will kick your ass! If you
order a Jack & coke, her drinks add coke only for color. Actually,
I don't even know why I order it with coke. She never listens. Her
service is superior. She works her end of the bar quite efficiently.
No nonsense, actually. Try having a conversation longer than a
sentence, and she just leave you hanging; looking like a baby who
just had their pacifier taken away. Of course, the consolation is
she leaves you with the wickedest drink this side of Lynchburg!
Her name is Tina. Ask for her by name. Accept no imitations.
MC - 4/29/97
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