i wonder how long can a wounded heart go on bleeding - before it bleeds away every last drop of life inside of it --- no amount of licking could erase the sting of desperation which digs - deeper and deeper into the core of my existence ---  the lies - which i created to make the sun seem brighhter even on the darkest of days - blinded my sight to the flash of steel that ripped my eyes out --- i can no longer see my own face lost in a crowd of fake smiles and frozen fingers - groping for wishes thrown from the arms of falling stars --- i could frantically scratch at my dreams for endless nights - and still not remove the infectious crust of doubts that covers my mind --- is this medecine that i'm swallowing when i take his kiss to my lips - or just more poison rolling off his tongue - promising my decline in every sip --- it comes in and feeds me from inside - sswiftly nurturing yet slowly killing --- lucifer's fire burning in my chest --- have the gods forsaken my soul? - i have failed to hear their calling over the incessant pounding inside my head -  the sounds of  my fists beating against this glass wall confining my sanity --- my body is no longer mine to control - it is a mere vehicle of flesh and bone - aallowing this sickness to propel itself further under my skin - and engulf me with the cunning of a  white-gloved strangler --- my feet won't move as if nailed to the ground - i cannot run from evil nor can i kneel dowwn in front of goodness --- but i can feel the angels clawing at my back -  trying to take back the wings which i had stolen from them so many lifetimes ago - now the weight of only a single feather breaks my shoulders in two --- if i had any voice left in me - how i would beg the angels to teach me to fly - or take me with them - away from my pain and away from him who awakens in me such desires that spoils the soul - and then leaves me untouched and silently laughs at my torture --- neither heaven nor hell will have anything to do with the frail and hollow shell of a person that i have become --- so i stand here - unable to see - unable to talk - unable to hear - unable to walk - wounded - for lifetimes to come