"When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified
your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite
problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively. In a way, the next
move is up to him. "
R. A. Lafferty
"I worship truth and that is why it has to occasionally be sacrificed on
the altar of self promotion."
Geoffrey Feldman
"It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a
line to the Bible."
George W. Foote
"Don't underestimate what you can ram through any part of your body and
have it heal."
Shannon Larratt
"I am Deep but Empty."
Michelle Enzinas
"Mundus Nihil Pulcherrimum" -- "The World is a Beautiful Nothing"
attributed to the 16th century
poet, mystic and hermeticist Giordano Bruno (that was before they burnt
him at the stake - an experience which might have altered his outlook)
"I'm not all empowered 'cause I am into peace and love and wear a gypsy
skirt and get in touch with my femininity and commune with my fellow women.
I'm all empowered because I'll kick the SHIT out of you if you fuck with
me."
Judy, 8/4/98
'If I can't have my evenings off with cocoa and animal crackers, I don't
want to be your Bitch Goddess.'
Pat Califia
"Trying to buy a single Microsoft application is like taking a sip from
a spittoon You'll wind up swigging everything in there, because it's all
one sticky piece."
Dick Fredericksen
"Let me see if I've developed mysterious mental powers since I last
looked. Nope. Nothin' but the theme from "Underdog" in there."
Jason Corley
"Are we just going to lay around in our coffins and let the living outnumber
the dead on this newsgroup? Fight back. Our way of life is being destroyed
by happy campers! Come-on everyone. Eat their brains because it tastes
like candy! More brains! More brains!"
ren
"Tonights forcast is: Dark, with continued dark tonight until tomorrow
morning when there will be partial light. The weather: The weather will
change on and off for a long, long time"
George carlin.
"Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water!
And East is East and West is West and if you take cranberries and stew
them like applesauce they taste more like prunes than a rhubarb does. Now,
uh.. Now you tell me what you know."
Groucho Marx
"I AM SIGNIFICANT!" Screamed the dust speck.
(Calvin & Hobbes)
"Change is one thing, progress is another. 'Change' is scientific, 'progress'
is ethical; change is indubitable, whereas progress is a matter of controversy."
Bertrand Russell, "Unpopular
essays"
"Netscape started out free and ended up free, with a 350 million-dollar
payoff in the middle. That's not so bad."
"Bill House"
"I like being fisted. It makes me feel like a Muppet."
Margaret Cho
(on asking God to smite his enemies as proof of His exsistance) "...but
then it wouldn't be faith, would it? then it'd just be science or something.
that's why I won't summon lightning. but that's the only reason."
Rob Hutton
"If I want to lose a lot of money and give myself headaches I'll go on
a drinking binge. At least I'll get some pleasure out of it that
way."
morninman@aol.com (MORNINMAN)
"I apologize to all the cheerful goths out there who were offended by my
callous and unthinking remarks. Your happy and optimistic subculture
has suffered because of me, and i am shamed."
Rev. Will, Gator-at-Large
"Even the idea that there is any such thing as a typical third-world crime
rate (or typical third-world anything) is ludicrous. Even defining
what "crime rate" means is pretty difficult, and cross-cultural comparisons
of these rates are rarely good for anything besides carping and harumphing
about the awful state affairs that prevails in these grim and woefully
dark, dark days in this too, too benighted land full of phonies, greedy-bloodsucking
capitalist pigs, and granola-crunching pinko liberals wherein the rich
grow richer and the poor grow poorer and the common man can't get a leg
up, while illiteracy is rampant, nobody cares about anything, God/dess/zilla
is dead, love is for sale, everybody's fat and lazy, kids have no respect
dagnabbit, dogs are ill-behaved, the waters are putrid, the air is foul,
TV is always in reruns, cable is too expensive, radio is controlled by
the top-40 Trilateral Commission conspiracy..."
tarchon@imap2.asu.edu (Ben Buckner)
Linus's Law: Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
"if you ever look at your life and think 'i could go on jerry springer'
just kill yourself. right then."
Rob Clark
"after i explained what i was doing, most of them didn't mind the screaming
anymore...."
Richard Muise (taken totally
out of context)
"The animal that coils in a circle is the serpent; that's why so many cults
and myths of the serpent exist, because it's hard to represent the return
of the sun by the coiling of a hippopotamus."
U. Eco
"The best way to keep something bad from happening is to see it ahead of
time...and you can't see it if you refuse to face the possibility."
William.S. Burroughs
"I stood naked in a dark & bleak eternity & filled it with my exultation"
Wynn Westcott (1848-1925)
"He's very handsome, but he's a horse's ass or he's gay or he hates women
or he hates people with Rolls-Royces. He told me to fuck off, and
I thought that meant I could go, not knowing American."
Zsa Zsa Gabor on the policeman
who arrested her
"Nothing fazes me. I'm like some kinda Space man on his way to Mars with
a big gun and a whole lot of coffee."
Rob Campbell
"I've become a lot like nick cage since I got to america. It's bringing
out all my worst qualities."
Rob Campbell
"Music was invented to confirm human loneliness."
Lawrence Durrell
"Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among
the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near
to the infinite."
Thomas Carlyle
"Music should never be harmless."
Robbie Robertson
"Wine goes in, the truth comes out."
Harmonica Frank Floyd
"If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are
headed."
Ancient Chinese proverb
"I have such a strong love/hate relationship with computers that I think
I lack the objectivity to analyze their impact on my life."
Rob Hutton
"I thought that Ken would look better bald. Because he didn't have
any hair to cut off, only that painted on plastic kind, I decided that
I would melt the plastic into a smooth surface. Needless to say I
soon had a flaming Ken torch and when I dropped him the livingroom carpet
caught on fire. Thank God my mom heard me scream and she was able
to put the fire out without any serious damage being done."
Mary (mnblock@aol.com)
"You think they look silly, with their hats and motor scooters. If you
knew what those hats really meant, you'd never laugh at anything, ever
again..."
Illuminati: New World Order
"morals are for little people"
jenny holzer
"If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards
they are."
Terry Pratchett, Lord and Ladies
"Screw RRSPs...I'm Upgradin' [my system]!!!"
Deb Richardson
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the
bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they
shoot bees at you?"
Homer Simpson
"What you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing:
it also depends on what sort of person you are"
C. S. Lewis,"The Magician's
Nephew"
"I would dearly like to *not* be a RP geek (or any other sort of geek),
but my passion for the trivial, my competence at the useless and my knowledge
of the irrelevant all conspire against me."
James Lownie
"The gene pool has no lifeguard"
(unknown origin)
"In a past life, the other penguins were afraid of me."
Dave Awl, Too Much Light Makes
the Baby Go Blind
"you weren't so goth when you lipsynched to Ace of Base for the 8th grade
talent show..."
Goth Talk, SNL
"When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to
laugh at him."
Thomas Szasz
"After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me,`Maybe life isn't
for everyone.'"
Larry Brown
"Some mice have evolved more than others."
The Brain, from the Saturday
morning cartoon "Pinky & The Brain"
"Money isn't everything, but it's 100%."
Uncredited
"Maybe my ruler's wrong."
Joey Tribbiani (complaining
about his oversized home entertainment center)
"Maybe all rulers are wrong."
Phoebe Buffay (replying in a
slightly higher level), "Friends"
"'Great plan'? What 'great plan'? No one told me I oughta have made a 'great
plan'. Sure, I know I'm supposed to be omniscient and all, but you human
people are just too complicated."
God, "James & Jehova"
"OBVIOUSLY, the one thing that separates humans from the teeming flea-laden
masses is our ability to don polyester leisure suits. No other species
on the face of the earth can do this. Even more hopelessly, they don't
even want to."
The_orchids
"I will sit up on my fucking pink cloud and smile down on you poor fuckers
down there working your asses off, while i recline among the soft-assed
angels and sip ambrosia. Think I will slip a mini machine in my shirttail
and do a few minis on them soft-shelled angel chicks up there for pastime,
and when all the rest of the old timers down in the bowels of the fiery
pit hear my soft tuned machine singing gentle hymns on the twats of them
young angels, they will really know what hell feels like..."
Sailor Jerry 8/72
"I'm a little teapot, Short and stout, Here is my handle, and here is my...
Oh shit, I'm a sugarbowl."
EmptyEyed1
"Their are actually two paths to Hell, The first is paved with good intentions
and the second is paved the the bodies of the weak. The second one also
has rest stops and a resturant on the way."
Ivan Roseland
"That which does not kill us leaves us alive to be tortured with its memory."
Brother_Cadfael@earthcorp.com
"My motto is: They can't break you if you don't have a spine."
Wally from Dilbert.
"You can have my steel, when you pry it from my cold dead flesh."
G€£gð†hå (r)
"I thought I told you to wait in the car."
Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing
a former lover for the first time in years
"Crazy is majority rules... there's no right, there's no wrong, there's
only popular opinion."
Geoffrey Goines, 12 Monkeys
"Studies have shown that if you can't find it on the net, it doesn't exist.
This is how we know God doesn't exist. I tried "Big_Guy@pearlygates.heav"
and it didn't work. This did, however, prove the existence of the
devil, as the original email was returned by the MAILER DAEMON."
smeg@ceejay.demon.co.uk
"See, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do.
And if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor.
Go home tonight, take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs
and burn 'em. Cause you know what. The musicians who made all
that great music, that's enhanced your lives throughout the years, RRRRRRRRRRReal
fuckin' high on drugs."
Bill Hicks
Les: I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time.
Stan, Kyle: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation.
Les: 'Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind.
Cartman: Ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor.
Les: Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind.
Kenny: Hmm mph rmph rm hmm mph rmph rm hmm mph rmph rm.
Les: So, come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine.
South Park Theme
"A sexy woman is a sexy woman regardless of whether or not she's female."
Glen Malley
"Write Once, Read Never."
Dave Mercer.
"A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother."
Anonymous
"On two occasions I have been asked [by members of Parliament!], `Pray,
Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the
right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind
of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question."
Charles Babbage
"[re: the death of the internet] it's not about the packets anymore, man
:-)"
dana lacoste
"DOS was written by 3 people, in a restaurant, and all of them were Drunk."
Ramzan Khuwaja
"It's a sobering awakening to be left behind."
Chuck Humphrey (member of Heaven's
Gate cult)
"Why isn't there a WOTFC (writhing on the floor crying), to go with the
ROTFL?"
~^v^~ chaos.control ~^v^~
"Life isn't a race, it's a strategy game."
JJ
"Work. Worry. Consume. Die. It's a wonderful life."
Bill Griffith, Zippy the Pinhead
"Honestly, I find the idea ov kissing someone without a tongue piercing
disgusting. Why not just lick a slug?"
Denise Robinson, Ambient Inc.
"... in a Capitalist system: Man expoits Man. In a Socialist system:
It's the other way around!"
Mad Magazine
"I get a little skittish when [attracted to a woman], and I accidently
banked off the Captain Crunch and went sprawling into a display of paper
products, looking pretty foolish but (I prefer to think) somewhat mysterious."
Robert Dawson
"I don't cry in my beer, I Scream in rage at my TV."
Shonias
[Discussing an image of a black rectangle silhouetted against the Martian
landscape]
"That is the top of the calibration target, that is _not_ in fact a monolith."
NASA TV commentator, 7/5/97
"My ability _not_ to make soft crumbly pastry is well known in these parts.
The last quiche I made had to be divided into portions with small charges
of jelignite."
Thomas Fosdick
"If the media claims I'm a GenXer, then I must be, right? Just another
label to go along with, "Student", "Common-law", and "Tax Exempt". They
might as well just tattoo a big 'L' on my forehead."
Rob Campbell
"I just assumed we'd all retire to golf courses. Goth golf courses. Spindly
leafless trees like dead mens hands. Bunkers full of ash. Blighted greens
and fairways. Skulls on sticks marking the hole. And we, in ugly
checkered pants and Robert Smith hair, walking to and fro, discussing our
investment portfolios."
Albatross {Four!}
"I have a 6-yr-old stepdaughter who swears she's goth now.
StealthGoth PAN
"...and you don't STAPLE your hand to your forehead, silly. it's a goth
MAGNET built into your wrist and your forehead. that's why you have to
be really careful when you light a cigarette."
Jen
"I strongly suspect that there's some brain chemical that controls tact,
and that men are just naturally deficient in it. (or something.)"
Jack
"Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist? He gave his soul to Santa!"
ren
"Like a hallmark card from Hell."
Thach
"I'm not "Chivalrous". I'm polite. I care about what my Girl- friend thinks.
I listen to her when she tells me things. I try, not always with success,
to be as romantic as possible. I don't own a suit of armor, a raging black
stallion, or a castle. I've got a pin-stripe suit, a black Mazda, and an
apartment. Somehow, I think that's enough."
Lasky
"I remember the last thing my Daddy said to me...'Don't son, that gun's
loaded!' "
Lans Henrickson
"Never argue with me about the history of music from punk through post-punk
onwards unless you do not know how many vinyl records you own. (music-nazi
glare)"
David Gerard
"Actually, if you want to give it a go, you can start making your own gourmet
flavored coffees. I used to do it all the time by mixing a little
stronger-than-normal Kool-Aid in with my Maxwell House-it doesn't take
much--and Amaretoe is nice too, and I tried a few things from the spice
rack but can't recall what worked and what didn't, except that the garlic-coffee
was less than thrilling...."
Clay Young
"This is not a place of honor. No great deed is commemorated here.
Nothing that was valued lies here."
proposed marker for Nuclear
Waste Burial Site.
"The scales have fallen from my eyes- and the next Goth I see, I will not
chase him/her yelling "Return to the unholy earth from which you
have risen, fiend!" I will buy him some coffee instead."
Count Spooky
"Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant."
[May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy. ]
"Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus latinis alacribus et
fructuosis potiri potes."
[If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying
world of latin]
"In my personal opinion, there are few things more amusing than seeing
a sensitive male get territorial about "his" mate, myself included. We
work so hard to sublimate our more brutish testosteronal urges, then suddenly
forget 5,000 years' of societal evolution and hide outside our gf's
window with a twinkie in one hand and a machete in the other, just _waiting_
to catch her with your best friend.
"Er... maybe that's just me..."
Xthlc
"Did we use the Bomb as an excuse for what we've done? Was it there, a
subtle devil saying 'Don't worry, it will all be gone anyway?'"
Jealousy
"For instance, if you went around campus beating random people senseless
("my god, I can't smell anymore!!!!") with a Louisville Slugger, chances
are you'll be getting fudge-trained in the State Pen in under a month's
time."
The Raphrat
"I hate this business. If I didn't hate getting up in the morning more,
I'd chuck it all in and get a real job tomorrow."
John Constantine, Hellraiser.
"I dunno, I guess I just prefer my gothy friends to have the 'one foot
in the grave & the other on a banana peel' attitude. Anybody else know
what I mean? "
Lady Bathory
Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane
mittam.
[I have a catapult. Unless you give me all your money, I will drop
a huge rock on your head.]
"iiiiiiii...am the very model of a gothic tart imperial,
I've psychoses emotional & nastiness venereal
I've all the Sisters' albums & I often LARP vampyrical,
My attitude is shoddy & my cattiness satirical..."
Lady Bathory
"The future masters of technology must be light-hearted and intelligent.
The machine easily masters the grim and the dumb."
Marshall McLuhan,
"Outside the baseball box scores and the stock market tables, there is
no such thing as 'objective journalism.' The very phrase itself is
a pompous contradiction in terms."
Hunter S. Thompson
"I'm convinced that the "Abandon Hope..." inscription over the entrance
to hell is a long, centered stream of blinking text in that insanely ugly
font whose lowercase letters are half the height of the uppercase."
Lazlo Nibble (lazlo@rt66.com)
"A man may fight for many things... his country, his principles, his friends,
the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child.... But personally,
I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and
a sack of French porn."
Blackadder, Black-Adder III
"If you don't understand it, don't mess with it."
Louis Armstrong
"Guns aren't lawful/ Nooses give/ Gas smells awful/ You'd might as well
live"
Dorothy Parker
"Spite life. Enjoy it."
Jeff-Boy
"I like to have a martini, Two at the very most, After three I'm under
the table, After four I'm under the host. "
Dorothy Parker
"There are interesting rubber hose thingies which connect to the faucet
in the tub, enabling you sit in the tub and drench anything within a 5-foot
radius while doing arm poses suitable for a status of Shiva. Just
FYI."
ash
"So its down to this then is it? After years of lurking I step boldly into
the vast Internet global community, bold ideas leaping forth from my mind,
and find myself discussing the weather in Australia with another Australian.
Isn't technology wonderful. "
Timmie
"Can't say I've ever been too fond of beginnings, myself. Messy little
things. Give me a good ending any time. You know where you ARE with
an ending."
Sandman, Neil Gaimen
"I'm a great lover, I'll bet."
Emo Phillips
"To the eight-year-old...the sun is alive because it gives light (and,
one may add, it does that because it wants to). To the child's animistic
mind the stone is alive because it can move, as it rolls down a hill. Even
a twelve-and-a-half-year-old is convinced that a stream is alive and has
a will, because its water is flowing. The sun, the stone and the water
are believed to be inhabited by spirits very much like people, so they
feel and act like people."
- Bruno Bettelheim, The Uses
of Enchantment
"You're listening to "Boomer 102" CLASSIC rock - where we promise not to
expose you to anything you haven't heard a million times before!
We'll get right back to more hits from those high school days when your
world stopped...but first, here's our critic to review the latest movie
based on a '60s or '70s TV show!"
Calvin and Hobbes
"Vampires are real, they just don't suck blood. Oil is preferred.
I've had numerous cars that were vampire ridden. The cars surprisingly
never became immortal. They do live on in legend."
&ru()
"Last night I saw a Marilyn Manson interview that someone had taped on
MuchMusic, the superior Cdn version of MtV. MM isn't important. What is
is these two 14 year old girls who proudly proclaimed they were goth. One
said that she wished people would stop telling her to go back to Pennsylvania,
cuz she's not even *from* Pennsylvania. Her friend helped her out by saying
'no, Transylvania'."
(Panic Girl)
"[in responce to an ammusing comment] mmm. this actually caused me to nearly
snort espresso out of my nose. and considering that mikey made it, it made
the short list of things that i rather would not be up my nose."
caoimhin
"*IIIIIIII'm* not smaller and duller. Hell no. I am goddamn gigantic. I
am an intellectual Godzilla. I'm gonna eat the world before the world eats
me."
Rev Dr David Gerard
"The ocean is not about suntan oil, it is about pure passion. The ocean
has more moods than a schizophrenic women suffering PMS."
(Albatross, Beach Boy)
"You should get in touch with the woman inside yourself. She'll tell what
went wrong and where and how to avoid it again. 'Course, she could be lying."
(David Benson)
"We looked like any average college-age couple, yet there they were, a
whole cross-section of the banal masses staring at us like we had each
spouted second heads that were now belting out 'The Blue Danube' in two-part
harmony."
(TSM)
"A friend of mine did this once, only with blood red. She painted walls,
floor, ceiling, tub, toilet, sink... everything. It was the most disturbingly
terrifying room I've ever been in. She took to sitting in there with the
door locked and screaming for hours on end."
(Stained)
"GOTHIC is a 15-year old boy wearing a black skirt sitting on the floor
in the corner of his room picking his pierced nose with a painted fingernail
realizing that he is the only person on the planet who is sensitive and
brilliant enough to fully comprehend the lyric 'hey, now, hey, now, now,
sing this corrosion to me."
(joyfm@sirius.com)
"Actually, the epitome of goth is caoihmin wearing a puffy shirt with slashed
cuffs, a black vest, black jeans, black silver-buckled boots, and mirrored
shades leaning up against the Floodland poster smoking a clove while Bauhaus
is on the stereo and asking 'What's a goth?'"
(Matthew M. McKeon)
"That is to say, Mr. Paradise has exercised that adversarial skill
which is the _sine_qua_non_ of any Satanist worth his salt with great ability,
but upon a target of which so many have availed themselves that the straw
has begun to leak badly from it."
(Ron Carrier)
"The Americans are the living refutation of the Cartesian axiom 'I think,
therefore I am': Americans do not think, yet they are."
Julius Evola
"everyone has the right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privelege"
joseph stalin
"There are people of the day, and the creatures of the night.
"And it's important to remember that the creatures of the night aren't
simply the people of the day staying up late because they think that makes
them cool and interesting. It takes a lot more than heavy mascara and a
pale complexion to cross the divide."
Terry Pratchett, Soul Music.
Nil Illegitimi Carberundum.
[Don't let the Bastards get you down.]
"An mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. You'd
think that the last two would have ducked."
Unknown
"I'm not going to be buried at all; I intend to be decked out in my very
best and encased in a solid block of Lucite, so I can continue to attend
the very finest functions (the rest of the time, the Mrs. can use me as
a coffee table..."
Lurch
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
James Dean
"All music sucks. I hang around goths because they're nice and they're
cute. The music I can take or leave, mostly leave."
Rev. Dr. David Gerard
"woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity"
Eric Hoffer
"We all enter this world in the same way: naked; screaming; soaked in blood.
But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop
there."
Dana Gould
"Being afraid of monolithic organizations especially when they have computers
is like being afraid of really big gorillas especially when they are on
fire."
Bruce Sterling
"Scott became famous for freezing to death in Antarctica.
Columbus made history by thinking some island was india.
General Custard's a national hero for not knowing when to run.
All of these people are famous and they're also very dumb.
History is made by stupid people."
"History is made by stupid people", by Arrogant Worms
"I suppose the best analogy in reproductive terms to ActiveX is that ActiveX
is like a blood test, it may tell you who the father of the child was,
it won't stop the pregnancy and it does not provide 100% proof and it won't
stop you getting STD's."
Andrew Harrison
"I'm not afraid of death, just afraid I haven't lived." which somes up
most of my thoughts on the matter.
&ru
"Sometimes I do stupid stuff, and I don't even know why...as if my body
were controlled by some demented, sadistic puppet-master..."
Bernard Bernoulli
"Well, we all feel that way sometimes."
Weird Ed Edison, "Day of the
Tentacle"
"What," asked Mr. Croup, "do you want?"
"What," asked the Marquis de Carabas, "does anyone want?"
"Dead things," said Mr. Vandemar. "Extra teeth."
Neil Gaiman, Neverwhere
[ about john ]
[ talk ]
[ things not found here ]