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Like The Back Of My Hand For every finger on your hand, there is a member of Oasis. Allow me to explain. You know, I'd like to believe that everyone is aware that there are five members in the band. But sadly, 'tis not the case. Hell, even my father thought Liam and Noel were the only members! Last summer at Cornell, I was educating my roommate, Katie, on Oasis Trivia. We started with the basics, obviously. But, much to my frustration, Guigs, Bonehead, and Whitey were often mixed up. Through this, I discovered an amazingly simple, and oh-so-logical, way to help her remember the band members. (Gather the kids round in a circle, folks! It's family fun time!) Look at your left hand. No. Look at it. When your palm faces you, there are five members of Oasis right there. Shall I explain? Let the lesson begin. I hope all of you are taking notes. Middle Finger = Liam But why? We can begin with the obvious: Standing alone, what does this finger say to you? This sign says it all, basically. And anyway, it's the tallest 'cos he is the frontman after all (though he claims not to be -- "I'm just a singer", etc.). Index Finger = Noel Well, it's the most important finger on your hand, isn't it? And frankly, Noel is the most important member of Oasis any way you look at it. (And no, he's not my favourite, so that's not a biased statement.) And, of course, when Liam and Noel (that is, the middle and index fingers) stand by themselves, what does it say? Eh? The two finger salute is better than one, I say. (Noel is shorter than Liam as well.) Ring Finger = Bonehead Who was the first member to get married? (Started a trend, I see.) 'Nuff said, really. Pinky Finger = Guigsy Poor little guy. Never speaks, does he? Just sits there on the end and... observes. Thumb = Alan Ahhh... Alan. Different from the rest of 'em, aren't you? From London. Cockney accent. Support Charleton Athletic. Got that (dirty) blonde hair. Married to an American. And frankly, you're the youngest of the bunch, so no wonder you're not as tall as the others. And finally, to back all this up, if one will please take note that all of the members of your own personal Oasis are conveniently positioned they way they are when on stage. To further back Alan's stumpiness, may I just point out he also sits on the job (which is a good thing for a drummer!). I rest my case. Tell your friends, relatives, dog. They'll never be able to forget each member ever again! (I know Katie didn't!)

© 1997 reese@online.no

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