ARTCA 1997 - The Victoria Falls Convention
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"The chances of anything coming from Botswana are a million to one " he said.
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No one would have believed in the early months of 1997 that Bulawayo 49 was being watched keenly and closely by tables greater than themselves; that as they busied themselves about their Convention preparations they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might examine the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water. With infinite complacency they went to and fro about their convention affairs, serene in their assurance of their control over matters. Yet across the gulf of the Kazungula Border, Botswana tables; immeasurably superior to theirs, fellowship officers with intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic, regarded this convention with gleeful eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans to raid them.
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The scene on arrival:
The spray of the falls, the beat of the drums, the cry of the Fish Eagle, the roar of the lion…no sorry, the voice of Wayne English (Selebi Phikwe 52 VC) who rushes past "Sorry! got to rush to the airport!". To pick up Tony Hopkins it turns out; who in his now traditional modest manner has flown the Cessna in with his family but has no money left to hire a car! Jamie Hughes, Steve Kenworthy, & Craig Britz left via Bulawayo yesterday but no-one has heard from them (has party-animal Steve struck again?).
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A little later:
Minor teething problems with Mrs’ & rooms (5-star seems to make them really fussy!?) - let the party begin! Well not actually, first the business at hand - WOCO Indaba Meeting. Area 8 (Botswana) makes it’s presence felt by attending amass and wearing the finest in livery - Khaki shorts and logoed shirt with shocking yellow contrast - STYLISH! The Botswana Area sponsored delegate (Craig Britz) makes it by the fur on his tongue. In addition to interesting addresses by the Africa Region Association Presidents, there were presentations by both the WOCO General Secretary Phillip Gille & RTI President Kaj Sartorisio. This was to be repeated at the AGM which followed the next day.
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Later:
During the Featherstone, our area chairman is viciously attacked by either a bottle of Scotch or (he claims) a Harare 1 tabler, and sustains a serious strain of his ankle. Gaborone 64 win the ‘people’s first place’ with their "Horny Rhino" skit. Harare 45 (the real winners!) were a lot more tuneful however - they always seem to come up with a good tune (a la Karoi 38 at Club Mac in Malawi 1996)
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Much later:
Botswana tabler John Cox breaks the Casino bank at Blackjack, but compassionately decides not to threaten the Zimbabwean economy & endanger the life savings of the retired tied up in the Harare Stock Exchange - and gives most of it back. Ron Stewart’s wife arrives tomorrow so he hard core hut’s it at the boat-club till sunrise - I’m sure he intended to welcome her! We don’t see him till lunch the next day.
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The AGM:
The combined presence of RTI President & Vice (Mark Warren) had something of an impact - particularly so when the discussion about the RTI/WOCO issue came about. Kaj & Mark had plenty to say while Phillip was…………quiet. WOCO Panama Convenors Jose Ford & Ellis Cano joined us to promote WOCO 1997 - hopefully there we can put an end to this bullshit issue and let us continue as members of both (complimentary) organisations. Excellent to see every Africa Region Association represented - even WARTA; who understandably have had a difficult time in Zaire & Rwanda. Spontaneous standing ovation for them. Rob Franklin invites the services of himself, Kaj Sartorisio, Rafiq Dhanji (ARTEA Chairman) & few others (combined mass now over 1000kg) - "The Heavies"; next time they have problems in Kinshasa! Kevin Monoghan succeeds Kevin Terry as President - loud cheers from the crowd. Area 8 comes out in huge support of the association project - Vetiver Grass (an anti-erosion measure).
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The Booze Cruise:
We were most pleased to find Orapa 61 had hijacked the bus which was taking us upstream for a sunset cruise on the Zambezi. What a great bunch of hooligans! Luckily a double decker boat but the Australian people ‘down under’, soon lost any chance of a quiet cruise. I remember particularly Ronnie Yane & Comfort Sibisi striking up a magnificent falcetto which echoed across the water. We didn’t see many hippos! Norman was set for a Zimbabwean winetasting trip, but didn’t get much further that his third bottle of Mikuyu Blanc de Blanc. We didn’t see him till next morning.
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The Presidents Banquet:
A posh affair with fresh seafood & other things. Nearest ocean is farrrrrrr away and I examine every piece with some circumspection - once caught and all that……. ARTSA tablers (and they were legion), stage a walkout after some joke which they felt was insulting to them (forget the damn thing but it was pretty direct!!). Come back only after they finish the booze in the bar outside (it wasn’t much - they were closing up!).
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The Golf Tournament:
My high hopes were dashed when I found that nearly every green had some kind of wildlife on it; couldn’t possibly hit an innocent warthog and aimed safely for the bushes. Game really fell to pieces when tempted by an ice-cold Zambesi Lager - brought to us a magician who appeared out of the bush. Only good shot was on the 15th when I absolutely had to get it over the water since a croc was lying in wait. Botswana tablers do well (what else?) and take the honours & several of the other prizes. Play with a great Zimbabwean guy (forget his name) with the oldest clubs I have ever seen - I finally find out what a ringer is!
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The Fancy Dress:
Excellent effort by most tables for the fancy dress (Disney theme). ARTSA all came as cards! We (Selebi Phikwe 52) were showed up! I particularly enjoyed Rob Franklin (as ‘Frier Tuck’) & Dries Vosloo (as dwarf Grumpy)!
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The Departure (not for sensitive readers please) :
Tears & gnashing of teeth. Grown men on their knees grovelling for more. Dries Vosloo (Convention Treasurer) being offered bribes for ‘just one more day’. Ladies in hysterics at the prospects of leaving this ‘pleasure palace’. Well done Dave Cook and Bulawayo 49 - simply the best! |
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