How would it be if feelings of love were mutual? How would it be if the one I loved was near me? How would it be to be special (for someone)? How would it be to know that and to feel that? How would it be to know that I'm actually doing something right? That I'm not doing everything wrong? How would it be to know that I wasn't born for nothing after all? How would it be to know that my feelings actually matter? How would it be if there was someone to comfort me?

Everyone knows it but me. And I'm afraid I will never know these things.

What was it like again, to have a future ahead of me? What was it like again, not to cry for an entire day? What was it like again, to have something to look forward to? What was it like again, to wake up happy in the morning, so without thinking "damn, I'm still alive"? What was it like again, to have a positive self image?

It's not that long ago, but I forgot. And I'm afraid I'll never know it again.