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This is my rant. I am not a huge fan of Avril Lavignes, in fact, i think it is important that others understand why i dislike her. This is a rant about how much i dislike Avril. So if you are one of her little teeny bopper fans, do not tell me that "shes so kewl and so lyke so punk rawk, cuz shes a sk8er." If you dont wanna hear it then you should stop reading now. Top 10 reasons why Avril sucks 10. If she is such a "punk" why is her music so "pop"? Ok, now lets not try and deny that Avrils music is pop....If you are still denying it, let me give you some proof. "He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?" No, Avril, no you can't. Thank you, for just having proved my point. By the way, those are some very deep lyrics you've got going on there. Maybe even deeper than the song my four year old cousin wrote the other day! "Isnt anyone trying to find me? Won't somebody come take me home?" Sorry Avril. No they wont. 9. She really seems to believe that she was the first girl to ever wear a tie and dickies. Dressing like a skater, will not MAKE you a skater. Dressing like a skater, and saying you 'invented' the style, does NOT mean you invented the style. 8. She can APPARENTLY skateboard but have you ever noticed in her video, while everyone else is skateboarding, she is riding a fuckin bike? Avril claims to be a skater, except, no one has really ever seen her skatebaord. And when people ask her if shes a good skater, she responds with: "Not anymore because I dont do it any more. I used to be when I was in high school" Yeah, and a couple of months ago, i had a brain, but now that someone wants me to use it, i conveniently forgot how. Oops! 7. She is an embarassment to Canada If Avril gives the rest of the world any idea of what Canada is like, i am so embarrased. We aren't all as 'punk rawk' as her. Some of us are even capable of playing more than one chord on our guitar, and if we can, we still dont call it 'rawking out'. 6. She really oughtta pick up a few more words in her vocabulary. "Like, dude, man and whatever" just dont cut it... Cuz Avril is like, so, lyke, totally kewl, b-cuz she dropped out of lyke, skewl, b-cuz, she was lyke, sucha punk, and she lyke wore twist ties in her hair. Like oh my god! Dude, she was SUCH a punk ass kid! 5. Avril totally disses preps in her songs, yet they are the ones who buy tickets to her shows and buy her CDs. For example: "She sits at home, feeding the baby, shes all alone. Turns on TV, guess who she sees? Skater boy rocking up MTV". This meaning that all preppy girls are big whores who sleep around and get pregnant and ditched by the "cool skater boy" (who is obviously not so cool if he shafts his pregnant girlfriend) to go "rock up" mtv? Way to go Avril. 4. Miss Anti-Britney Now, im not saying Britney is much better than her, but Avril is superficial too. Lots of black make-up. Nice tight white little tank tops (NO it does NOT make you less of a whore because you wear a tie) and instead of her boobs hanging out all over the place, its her ass crack 3. How shes the sweetest girl in the world and how shes so totally modest about everything. Here are several quotes from Avril. There is no need for explanation. "It bugs the hell out of me when people say I'm not punk. I never claimed to be." --- YM Magazine "I dress cool and I look hot, and if you dont like it suck it." "Today, I rejected some gorgeous publicity shots because they just didn't look like me. I won't wear skanky clothes that show off my booty, my belly, or boobs. I have a great body. I could be Britney. I could be better than Britney." Ok now tell me, can you get any cockier then that? I mean, i may not be Britneys biggest fan, but shes gotta be doing something right. Hey, she makes a great stripper, but that takes talent too! 2. [instert sarcasm here] She's so punk it hurts...literally. 1. Sk8er boi? Enough said.
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