Thought for today/// My wisdom i now give to you...
*Look both ways before crossing the street...
*If you don't feed your fish, they will die, this also applies to any kidnapped princesses...
*I'm just not a very good person. However I've the makings of a excellant demi-god...
*I was raised by wolves...
*I'm much smarter then you...
*Guido sustains himself on the blood of puppies...
*You are probely going to die of car crash...
*I've the spelling of a second grader on crack...
*No one loves you like I do...
*Brittini is hot, but for some reason sleeps with really funny looking guys...
*Always check your back seat for an axe muderer...
*Never trust an Irishman with only one eye and no mustache
*I'm dealing with a lack of focus and a possible drug addiction...
*A giant man eating squid may seem like a good pet, but trust me, fresh human meat is far to expensive to make it pratical...
*Never feed Gizmo after midnight...
*If it smells like trout, Guido will still have sex with it...
*Girls are made of rubber...
*Buffy the vampire slayer is the best fucking show in the universe...
*Your a heartless bitch...
*Guido isn't real, he's like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or my Sex Life...
*No one likes a poor sport...
*Clowns eat babies...
*She doesn't really love, she's just out for sex. And that's a good thing...
*I have probely sleeped with your sister, girlfriend, and/or mother. As a result, I've aquired a crippling case of syphalis...
*Girls don't like boys, Girls like cars and money, and other girls, because they're all lezbos...
*Everything your parents ever told you was a lie...
*Elvis is dead...
*All white men are born with blood on their hands, mostly from our mother bleeding wound...
*Old people aren't good for anything...
*Young people are no good at everthing...
*Big Brother isn't watching, he's in the bathroom at the moment...
*Pretty girls have crappy sex...
*Ugly girls go at it like wolves in heat...
*I don't give a fuck...
*Your money is just paper...
*Your mom thinks your best friend is hot...
*With a face like that you'd better have a talent...
*If a ugly chick is hitting on you be polite, introduce her to guido, he'll still fuck her, so long as he has enough puppy blood to keep him going, otherwise she'll have to pull start him...
*Dead bodies make excellent lawn chairs...
*Babies taste like chicken, just ask a clown...
*The answer to the universe is 42...
*Finally, no matter what you do, or how cool you think you are, in the end, we're all just evil monkeys...