There's something about the holiday season that really reminds me of just how lonely I really am. And how much I hate christmas music. I also have the feeling of anticapation, probely left over from a time years ago when this season still meant something to me. That distant memory of a time of year when life was really good. Candy, & toys, and time out of school. Snowball fights and ice forts, and a endless supply of cartoons on television. I still have the faintest sensation that I was close to something really great. Commen scence seems to tell other wise. All I'm getting for christmas is more late notices from bill collecters, and guilt trips from freinds and family that I was to broke to buy some crap that they'd pretend to like. How things change.
Once I ended my days as a child and moved on into the teenage years, and a new great day took the place of christmas. New Years eve is the day for adult celebration. Except for me of course. I've never really had a very good New Years. I just don't like people enough to enjoy such a social holiday, and everyone seems to try too hard to have a good time. It's an excuse for drug use, like I need an excuse for drugs these days. I need an reason NOT to get fucked up now a days. I don't really see any problem with that. Life's fucked up anyways, why not take what little chance you have to be happy?
I'm sorry, I'm being negative. Don't misunderstand I really like being an adult. And I really don't miss thoughs hormonal teenage years... well I miss the girls. I just sometimes long for those simple times that toys and cartoons, where riding bikes in the dirt was where it was at, and a time where kiss tag was the equivalant of an orgy. Ah the days when things made sence.
Most of the year I like being an adult. But for just one week out of the year, if I could just be eleven... that would be sweet. And just incase this happens, I've gone ahead and made a quick list for santa...

*GI JOES (I'd Like a variety, but I have to have Snake eyes.)
*Wresling Figures & Ring (Hulk Hogan is a must, Ultimat Warrior is good, I need bad guys though too.)
*Transformers (Soundwave if you can find him, any of the dinosaurs would be cool too.)
*X-men figures (Weapon X Wolverine, Magneto, Sabertooth, and as many of the others as possible)
*Comics (X-men, X-force, X-Factor, Wolverine, Old Spiderman, Excalibur, & Batman.)
*Snes & games (Mortal Kombat 1&2, Final Fantasy 3, Metroid, Ken Griffy Jr Baseball, Madden '95, Street Fight Turbo, Mario World, Mario Cart, Primal Rage, Killer Instinct, Puzzle Fighter, and Stanley Cup Hockey.)
*If in doubt, money and/or gift certificat to Toys R Us, is always a safe bet.

I wonder if the fat man can come through one last time.