Tim> Soooo... the movie was good, yah?
Brit> No... it wasn't.
Tim> (defeated) Oh,
Brit> (smiling) but, thank you for taking me anyways.
Tim> (renewed) thank you. you being near makes me happy.
Brit> uh ya, Tim, look... the thing is...
Tim> what ever it is you can tell me...
Brit> (cautiously) it's just that... your acting like a stray puppy dog looking for a home... and, how can i put this... my building doesn't allow pets.
Tim> (oblivious) huh?
Brit> (blunt) i find you repulsive.
Tim> (ouch) What?!
Brit> that was harsh. It's not that i don't like you... as a friend... but not in the way you obviously like me.
Tim> (disappointed) i think we have fun.
Brit> we do... as friends, there just isn't anything else going on here.
Tim> why not?
Brit> honestly?
Tim> honestly.
Brit> your lurpy and have love handles, not to mention the globs of misc fat that clings to your frame, you never shave, or for that matter shower, your cloths are stained, your teeth look like little yellow shards of glass sticking out of your gums, you have a zit the size of my fist on your forehead, and your right eye is all squinty.

(Tim suddenly begins to feel like a horrible swamp mutant.)

Brit> you don't have a job, or a car, and the only reason you have an apartment is because you murdered your landlord and the building owners can't find were he put the payment records. you spend your days reading comic books, playing video games. you don't have any friends save an exiled angel, a dead guy, and a blue frig'n bunny rabbit.
Tim> (meekly) he's a vampire...

(a horrible swamp mutant that was abandoned at birth by his horrible swamp mother because he was too hiddious even to live among his fellow Swampy peoples.)

Brit> (on a roll) oh, and holding your mohawk up with peanut butter... not putting up big numbers on the sexy score board.
Tim> I'm punk!
Brit> you attract flies. and don't forget about that whole being employed by the forces of evil thingy. which for the record makes you about the worst fucking person i've ever met, and i think you should probably be locked up with the rest of the twisted menaces and murderers so i never have to be tainted by your worthless blackened soul!

(a maternally abandoned horrible swamp mutant who accidently treaded upon a land mine, launched a thousand feet into the air and was sucked into an airplane turbine.)

Tim> But i thought girls were supposed to be all sensitive n crap. your supposed to see past shallow stuff like that?
Brit> it's a lie propagated so as to create the illusion of superiority to the opposite sex. deep down every chick is all about nice cars and six packs.
Tim> (destroyed) oh...
Brit> but most of all... your kind of creepy.
Tim> I'm not creepy! mostly... o.k. sometimes. this isn't the way it's supposed to go. I had mikee check his all seeing eye of MALIGTHDABA, and it told me...
Brit> Seeing eye of WHAT?!
Tim> i know, it's kind of a long name for a magic eight ball. anyhoo, when i asked if you cared about me it said 'it is certain'. do you doubt the eight-ball, you must obey the BALL!
Brit> You only have one? sorry, not funny. i do care about you Tim. i just don't want to fuck you.
Tim> (whiney) but I DO!
Brit> That's good... you can fuck yourself all you want.
Tim> walked right into that one.
Brit> yup.
Tim> just give me a chance... i can change all that. I'll work out, shower, buy hair gel. give me like... a month, before you make your final decision on how you feel about me. come on, i know you like hanging out with me. just give me a chance.
Brit> and in this month, you will abstain from the creepiness?
Tim> you got it! as of right now, my existence is a creep-free zone.

(Tim opens the door to his apartment revealing Omen standing over Zanferbach, they are standing in a pentagram of fire on the floor. he holds a baby deer with it's throat slit, Zan is directly beneath it with his head cocked back collecting the blood like a child snagging snowflakes on his tongue. Elguapo is dancing around them in a body suit made of buffalo skins, chanting something that sounds like micheal jackson's thriller.)

Tim> I'm never gonna get to see you naked.
Brit> it is certain.