Points to Ponder

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
How much faith does it take to be an atheist?
I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?
What does Geronimo yell when he jumps out of a plane?
Why isn't 'phonetic' spelled the way it sounds?
Where are the germs that cause GOOD breath?
If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Why do slim chance and fat chance mean the same thing?
Why is toilet paper scented?
Why do they call them apartments when they are so close together?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do they know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
Why do they have billboards that say, 'If you can't read, call 1-800-TEACHME'?
Why do you need a hot water heater? Wouldn't it be a cold water heater?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro,' then what is the opposite of progress?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to 'cure' it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as '4's'?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but, dish washing liquid contains real lemons?
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest but, always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
If fire fighters fight fires, and crime fighters fight crime, then what do freedom fighters fight?
Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor, but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpeting?
If, while crossing the street, I am struck and killed by a beer truck, is that an alcohol-related accident?
Will my insurance pay off?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, 'Quit while you're ahead'?
If atheists say there is no God, who do they think pops up the next Kleenex in the box?
Why does the psychic hot line ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?