For the G'day sound file, CLICK HERE. (59.1 kb)

All Aussies use the word 'mate.' It is probably used more by the males when speaking to their own sex, but occasionally females will also be addressed as 'mate.'

The male species use the word to address everyone. From the Prime Minister to the local garbage man, they are all addressed as 'mate.' The word eliminates the need to remember the name of the person to whom you are speaking.

"G'day mate' is the standard salutation used in the Land Down under. Obviously, 'g'day' is a quick way of saying 'good day,' and this is almost always followed by 'mate.'

Quite often, the extra words of- 'how are ya'- are tagged on the end of 'G'day mate.' When this is done, it is assumed by non-Australians, that some sort of reply is required. Most Australians will know that no reply as to the state of their health or otherwise is necessary. The whole phrase is widely used, only as a means of saying 'hello.'

If an Aussie does reply, he or she will usually say 'pretty good thanks, mate,' or words similar. The enquirer will then usually say, 'that's good, mate,' or words similar. The enquirer, expecting either no reply, or the standard type of answer, will not be anticipating any other type of response.

So, the standard salutation may be spoken, and the recipient of the greeting may say, "I'm feelin' bloody awful, mate. Me sheila has just run off with me best mate, that bastard of a boss sacked me today, and me parrot got a celery stick caught in it's throat, fell off it's perch and broke it's bloody wing." The enquirer, not being alert for a reply other than the standard reply, would say, "That's good, mate, c'mon let's go and have a beer."

For you non-Aussies, the sound file will give you some idea of our standard Oz greeting.

For the 'gimme a beer' sound file, CLICK HERE.(125 kb)

It is no secret that Aussies love a drink. It could be that during the Summer months in our land, the temperature is so high that the only relief one can get from the heat, is to stand in a cool place and drink beer. It could also be that the only way of removing the dust from our throats is to wash it away with cold beer. It could also be that Aussies have so many worries on their mind that to fog up their brain with copious amounts of alcohol, is the best means of taking their minds off their problems. More than likely however, it is the taste of the amber fluid, the need to be in the company of your mates so that you can brag about your conquests, the need to lighten the weight of your pay packet in your pocket by spending it at the local hotel, or the need to lean on the bar, take your mind off today's problems and just watch the world go by.

To cater for the drinker's needs, there are literally thousands upon thousands of pubs, (hotels) bars, clubs, liquor shops and outlets scattered around Australia. Each of these establishments commits the worlds worst crime if they serve beer that is less than icy cold. Publicans know that if their pub ever runs out of beer, they can expect the local drinkers to burn the establishment to the ground. It doesn't matter if the Australian economy is at an all time low or even if the country is bankrupt, as long as there is a plentiful supply of beer.

The sound file is a typical Aussie, who has spent the whole day working outside in the hot sun, he is covered in perspiration, dust and flys and has been hanging out for his after work drink with the boys. He rushes up to the bar, and shouts at the barmaid. The barmaid may well be the best sort in the world, she may be built like a greek goddess, with huge boobs hanging out of a flimsy, see-through tee-shirt, but his eyes and mind only have one thing in mind....that icy cold beer.

In explanation of some of the words used in the sound file, a 'dingo' is a wild, or half domesticated Australian dog. A 'donger' is a slang word for 'penis.' 'Bloody,' is a very mild swear word, used more like an adjective these days to accentuate the word following.

For the dirty ditty sound file, CLICK HERE.(153 kb)

Second dirty ditty CLICK HERE.(158 kb)

This sound file is a dirty ditty, a little on the rude side. It is also an example of my drunken singing abilities. If you are the type of person that is easily offended by either filthy, songs of sex and debauchery, and/or by very bad singing, then this sound file is not for you.

Whilst it is loading, I will let you read another dirty ditty.

You wore a tulip, a bright yellow tulip,

And I wore my BVDs.

First I caressed you and then I undressed you,

Oh, what a sight to see.

I played with your titties, your white little titties,

Then down where the the short hair grows.

You wore a tulip, a bright yellow tulip,

And I wore a big red rose.

For the Mighty Mouse theme, CLICK HERE.(234 kb)

For the 'good-bye' sound file, CLICK HERE.(102 kb)

Finally, it is time to say "goodbye" to the sound file page. This next file uses the word 'hooroo' which is the Aussie way of saying 'see ya later.'

To read the A - Z of Aussie slang,CLICK HERE.

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