main bedroom

Come to bed eyes.
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You are now standing in the main bedroom. The biggest piece of furniture in here is of course the queen size bed. This is where I spend a good deal of my time,at least eight hours every night. I really love my sleep. It is a well known fact however, that beds cause hangovers. Statistics prove that drunks go to bed feeling happy, and wake up feeling terrible. From experience I know this to be true.

Alongside the bed are two bedside tables with a large chest of drawers in the corner of the room. A mirrored double sliding door wardrobe runs the full length of one wall alongside the bed so that I can watch myself sleep. (Good company for when I am alone.)

The doorway to the en-suite bathroom is at the foot of the bed. The windows face the east and so this room gets the first morning rays of light. Heavy, rubber backed curtains hang from the curtain rod and are available to cover the windows to totally block out the daylight, for when I need to sleep in.

FAVOURITE COLOURS - THE KEY TO YOUR SEXUAL LIFE.

The clothes you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all give clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colours you select for your possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favourite color, but look around you and you'll notice, especially in your clothing and home decor. The predominant colour for you is the one that appears most frequently.

It's the one that mirrors the sexual you. A panel of psychologists speaking at the 1975 Home Interior Design Forum, explained the association between colour and sexual patterns.

CLICK on your favourite colour:

Red    Yellow    Pink    Purple    Black    Green    Orange    Brown    Gray    Blue    White

Mighty Mouse will fly you to the colour of your choice so that you can read the full explanation.

THE COLOUR RED.

People who like red tend to be tigers in the sack, They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is ignited, it may take hours to extinguish. When two reds get together the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterly blush. Lovers of red tend to be aggressors and weaker colours should be aware.

THE COLOUR YELLOW.

If you tend to favour yellow, your sexual drives are complex and turn toward the adaptable. The favourite colour of homosexuals is yellow. But don't panic--not everyone who wears yellow is queer. In most cases the person will consent to the stronger partner's desire in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from somebody you enjoy or admire.

THE COLOUR PINK.

Persons who like pink show a reluctance to mature in sexual matters; woman tend to tease, to promise more than they intend to deliver. In some cases they flaunt their femininity - but because they secretly hate men. A great percentage of prostitutes boast wardrobes in pink. Men who like pink are the philanderers and flirts. They are the types who will make three dates for the same evening and not keep one, preferring to pick up a dish in some bar instead. Women whose husbands like pink should keep a secret nest egg.

THE COLOUR PURPLE.

Lovers of purple frequently consider themselves to be too sophisticated for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to mess their hair. Men are business like in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes purple partners are more concerned with fulfillment than anyone else's gratification.

THE COLOUR BLACK.

Black colour preferences point to black sex (not necessarily meaning black partners). These people are the misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are usually masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and often perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy times. Police psychiatrists claim that sex offenders prefer the colour black, and it is no coincidence that the uniform of molesters and teenage gang is black attire.

THE COLOUR GREEN.

Those who prefer green are fresh and innocent in their approach to sex. Women who love green will always make love like virgins all their life. Men may always be a trifle clumsy and awkward but in a charming and endearing sort of way. Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If chosen as a mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.

THE COLOUR ORANGE.

Lovers of orange lean toward sexual fantasies. The sex act is regarded as a dramatic one-act play in which they are the star. Foreplay is as important as the act of love. They whisper sweet nothings, meaningless dialogue, they feel it is their image. Orange people often do not experience orgasm, but they put on a darn good act. Men tend to pull their partner's hair, and women leave red welts on the sex partner's back.

THE COLOUR BROWN.

If you love brown you're a real treasure for the right mate. Brown lovers tend to be warm deep, sensitive to the needs and desires of their partners. Sex is a 24 hour a day thing. Where you can't say "I love you" often enough. Snuggling by the fire, walking in the rain or catching snowflakes on their tongue is a turn on to a lover of brown. They need lots of time and privacy to make love, but their emotions are such that one harsh word could end the affair.

THE COLOUR GRAY.

The colour gray is preferred by people who are indecisive. They can't get excited about anything, including colour, so they choose a non-committal shade. Men who prefer gray look at sex as a way of relieving tension, but nothing more, nothing less. wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Women don't make love, they have intercourse, and for one of two reasons only: accommodate their mate, or to become pregnant. They count the cracks in the bedroom plaster until the sex act is over with and done. When teamed with another colour, the gray spouse considers the other's infidelity a blessing. When a gray marries another gray, the marriage is made in heaven.

THE COLOUR BLUE.

Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners, affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider lovemaking a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists, delicately ravaging their partners like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate never seeking outside interest.

THE COLOUR WHITE.

If a person is infatuated with white, sex often seems filthy. These people are puritanical in nature. French kissing is obscene and to make love in the daylight is unheard of. Women who love white undress beneath the covers. Men will shower before and after the sex act. These people still use pet names for their genitals.

This is a promotional photograph that I did a few years ago and was published on the front cover of a company magazine. The theme for the photograph was the game "Twister," and it was taken on one of Sydney's famous beaches.

You have now reached the end of your tour. I hope you have enjoyed your stay. Please click on 'Home' button to return to the Main Page where you can sign my guest book. After drinking all of my grog, it is the least you can do for me. If you enjoy the odd drink or two, remember, the difference between being a drunk and being an alcohlic is that the drunk does not have to bother attending all those boring meetings. Please feel free to call back here anytime you wish, it was nice to see you.


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