Ways to Kill/Torture/Maim/Disfigure Diana Fowley

In the good spirit of the X-files, some of these are pretty out there....... enjoy!
Some of the others you won't get unless you know me, or go to my school. If you really want to know, e-mail me and I'll try to explain it, but no guerantees that it'll make sense!

1.*Accidentally* push her off the edge of the Grand Canyon.
2. *Accidentally* leave her her on the wing of an airplane
3. Stick her head in a fire ant hole.
4. Run her over with a steamroller.
5. Give her to Mr. Yahn.
6. Give her to the Purina Dog Food Company.
7. Make her go skydiving with no parachute.
8. Put her in steerage on the Titanic.
9. Get Scully to blow her head off.
10. Pull her toenails and fingernails out (off?)
11. Burn her ugly stringy hair off.
12. Make her a red shirt on Star Trek.
13. Make her a stormtrooper extra on Star Wars.
14. Take her to a Britney Spears concert.
15. Make her listen to the Spice Girls for a day solid.
16. Make her a stunt double on 'Total Recall' or 'Mars Attacks!' or any 'Godzilla' movie.
17. Cut her ugly fat lips off.
18. Give her to the army to use for target practice.
19. Perform 'hendai' on her.
20. Make her watch bad Disney movies for three days.
21. Have Scully bet her Mulder that she can't jump off the Empire State Building and live.
22. Krazy Glu her ass to the front of a roller coaster.
23. Make her do step aerobics for a week.
24. Cover her with gold paint, a'la James Bond.
25. Avalanche!
26. Dress her up like a gang member and send her into the opposite gang's territory.
27. Step all over her while wearing golf cleats.
28. Pull her internal organs out her butt.
29. Pour liquid nitrogen on her and then poke her with a pencil.
30. Put her through summer school PE
31. Feed her to the Rancor.
32. Two words- Sangre Viento.
33. Fencing with no protective gear.
34. Tie her to the inside lane of the Indy 500.
35. Take her kidneys out.
36. Give her a root canal with no Novocain.
37. Make her listen to 'My Heart Will Go On' 100,000,000,000 times in  row.
38. Make her listen to accordion polka music for a month.
39. Make her walk 8 miles in 32 minutes on the Aloha High School Track.
40. Cement her feet down in the middle of I-5.
41. Feed her to Packy.
42. Give her to Scott Thomason, Tom Peterson, and Gloria Too!
43. Burn her fat crooked lips off.
44. Get her jaw surgery for her crooked mouth.
45. Make her adopt Gibson Praise.
46. Make her Qui-Gon.
47. Present for Darth Maul.
48. Get Vader to choke her.
49. Feed her the Dark Side of the Force.
50. Bungee jumping- with no bungee.
51. Feed her to the Sarlacc.
52. Make her marry Frohike.
53. Give her to the Weekly World News.
54. Put her through one of Geraldine Murray's pre-performance dance classes.
55. Make her ride her bike across the interstate.
56. Let's play chicken with a Mack truck!
57. Make her watch John as Ricky Martin.
58. Let Michael Flatley use her as a dance floor.
59. Make her join a nudist colony.
60. Ship her to the Unabomber.
61. Blame everything on her.
62. Give her a malfunctioning lightsaber.
63. Send her to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.
64. Sic Morgan and Taylor on her.
65. Feed her to Kellen.
66. Stick her in the electric chair and let Scully flip the switch.
67. Catfight- Fowley v.s. the Uniblonde- killing two bitches with one stone.
68. Fowley v.s. Bambi. See above.
69. Fowley v.s Detective White. See Above Above.
70. Fowley v.s. Phoebe. See Above Above Above.
71. Give her to the Trade Federation.
72. Feed her to the Klingons.
73. Let Scully do an autopsy on her while she's still alive.
74. Kryptonite- or do you call it Fowleynite?
75. Tattoo "I'm Stupid" and her phone number on her forehead.
76. Tattoo her like the Enigma/Conundrum or Darth Maul.
77. Let Shaffie talk at her about Star Wars or Apostrophes.
78. Let Karen and I at her!
79. Feed her to Draco or Kazul!
80. Show her a picture of Keon.
81. Break both of her legs, then put casts on them with itching powder inside.
82. Archery Target Practice!
83. Javelin target practice.
84. Uniblonde/Scully Stunt Person.
85. Make her listen to Kenny G. for a week.
86. Make her write Scully-Mulder 'shippy stories!
87. Make her watch "What About Bob" for a week!
88. Make her go-go dance for Ricky Martin.
89. Put her in the center of a mosh pit.
90. Make her Froshie-for-a-day
91. Put her at the mercy of HAL.
92. Put her on a long-distance space probe.
93. Get her addicted to something really stupid.
94. Put her through a meat grinder (a'la "Our Town")
95. Why not make her the med student dummy?
96. Fowley v.s. that Karen chick in 'Alpha' See #67
97. The fourth stooge?
98. Concrete under the whipped cream pie! (see above)
99. Daily dousings in pepper spray!
100. Feed her to Tooms
101. Feed her to Virgil. (2shy)
102. Make her the new host to the feegee mermaid. (or whatever that thing wound up being!)
103.

Any more?
Send 'em my way, and we'll see how many we can get.

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