100% recycled electrons only.
90% of all people are caused by accidents in the home. A cubic zirconia
is just like a diamond. A condom is 98% effective in preventing pregnancy
if used correctly. A slight burning sensation may occur. Too long in the
seventh grade can blow your mind. Add toner. All models over 18 years of
age. All pricing subject to change. All rights reserved. Allergy alert:
may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. All sale items limited time only.
Any offenses taken are unintentional and are not the responsibility of
the owner. Any resemblance to real persons living, dead, or otherwise is
purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans.
As seen on TV. At participating locations only. Avoid contact with skin.
Hear the ROAR. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. Batteries
are included -- best of luck finding them. Be sure each item is properly
endorsed. Beware of attack dragon. Beware of pickpockets and loose women.
BHT added to preserve freshness. Booths for two or more only. Call taller
number before digging. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory
rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder
hundreds of innocent people. Colors may fade. Contains a substantial amount
of non tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. Contents
under pressure. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before
the show. Kate for President. Sarah for Vice President. Shannon for Treasurer.
Do not disturb. Do not feed the animals. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
Do not mix with water. Do not stamp. Do not use while operating a motor
vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line. Driver does not
carry cash. Drop in any mailbox. Dry clean only. Edited for television.
Employees and their families are not eligible. Equal opportunity employer
- Crazy seventh graders welcome. Falling rock. Fasten your seatbelt. First
pull up, then pull down. For offered use only. For office use only. For
recreational use only. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Happy haunting
and blessed be. Hi, Mom! If condition persists, consult your physician.
Keep away from fire or flames. Keep cool; process promptly. Late charges
will be added to postdate bills. Limit one per customer. Limited time offer;
call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates.
List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of
printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Many suitcases look alike. May
be too intense for some viewers. May cause grogginess. May cause irritability,
sleeplessness, or warts after prolonged use. Merge ahead. Misuse by deliberately
concentrating and inhaling contents may be harmful or fatal. No alcohol,
dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No Canadian coins.
No diving. No fur bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this
site. No littering. No one was harmed during the creation of this web site.
No other warranty expressed or implied. No passes accepted for this engagement.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No rain checks available.
No shirt, not shoes, no problem. No smoking. No solicitors. No transfers
issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No trees died in the making
of this web site. No vacuum tubes or other user serviceable parts inside.
Not a sugar substitute. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not
available on cassette. Not intended for use by conservatives or children
under the age of five. Not labeled for individual sale. Not meant to be
used internally. Not recommended for children. Not recommended for persons
with sugar restricted diets. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental
or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to
perform. Not responsible for items left after 30 days. Not responsible
for loss of preconceived ideas. Not responsible for loss or exchange of
personal property. Not the Beatles. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes
except under the advice of a physician. Not valid with any other offer.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Offer available in continental
USA and under special arrangement in Alaska and Hawaii. One size fits most.
Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental Advisory -- supervise your
children while they are online. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here.
Please remain seated until the vehicle has come to a complete stop. Post
no bills. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be
paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Price does not include
sales tax. Prices slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Prices higher
in Hawaii and Alaska. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Proud sponsor of the 1934 Penguin Olympic Games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica.
Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Replace with same
type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale.
Return for refund where applicable. Return to sender, no forwarding order
on file, unable to forward. Sanitized for your protection. See label for
sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Shake well before using.
Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Slippery when wet.
Some assembly required. Subject to CAB approval. Subject to change without
notice. Slow: children at play. Some equipment shown is optional. Some
of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes
only. Store in a cool place. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Tag should only be removed by consumer. The truth is out there. This disclaimer
may not be copied without the express written consent of whomever I stole
it from. This is not an offer to sell securities. This product is meant
for educational purposes only. This production has been formatted to fit
your screen. This locker may be hazardous to your preconceptions. This
supersedes all previous notices. Times approximate. Unattended children
may be eaten by starving artist. Unattended children may be sold as slaves.
Unattended children may be slammed into the locker. Unix is a registered
trademark of AT&T. Use a condom at all times. Use no hooks. Use only
as directed. Use only in a well ventilated area. Use other side for additional
listings. Void where prohibited. We are everywhere. We do not discriminate
on the basis of race, creed, disability, or sexual preference. We have
sent the forms which seem right for you. Wear your rubbers. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary. You must be present to win.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? Suicidal twin
kills sister by mistake! The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
Did anyone see my lost carrier? Make it idiot proof and someone will make
a better idiot. I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing! He who
laughs last thinks slowest! Always remember you're unique, just like everyone
else. Don't trust a seventh grader, not on your life!!!! Change is
inevitable, except from a vending machine. Out of my mind. Back in five
minutes. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. The gene pool
could use a little chlorine." i souport publik edekasion. We are
Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated. I like you, but
I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles." I won't rise
to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it. Ever notice how fast Windows
runs? Neither did I. If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic. "Very
funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Puritanism: The haunting fear
that someone, somewhere may be happy. Consciousness: that annoying time
between naps. Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector. I used to have a handle
on life, then it broke. Don't take life too seriously, you won't
get out alive. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Double your drive space - delete Windows! What is a "free" gift ? Okay,
who put a "stop payment" on my reality check? All generalizations are false,
including this one. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? ..Every morning
is the dawn of a new error... Computers are not intelligent. They only
think they are. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you
meant it to happen. When you get to the point where you really understand
your computer, it's probably obsolete. The first place to look for
information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find
it. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For every action, there is an equal
and opposite malfunction. To err is human . . . to blame your computer
for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. He
who laughs last probably made a back-up. If at first you do not succeed,
blame your computer. A complex system that does not work is invariably
found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. A computer
program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want
to do. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. C:\WINDOWS
C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN. BREAKFAST.COM
Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding. The name is Baud......, James Baud.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go! Access
denied--nah nah na nah nah! C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand
in the corner. Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!" As a computer,
I find your faith in technology amusing. Southern DOS: Y'all reckon?
(Yep/Nope) Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups. E
Pluribus Modem .. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) Windows:
Just another pane in the glass. Who's General Failure & why's he reading
my disk? Smash forehead on keyboard to continue..... Disk Full -
Press F1 to belch. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny <-------- The information
went data way --------> What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. The gene pool could use
a little chlorine. Aren't all gifts free? Lottery: A tax on
people who are bad at math. Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system. Artificial Intelligence usually
beats real stupidity. The best part of waking up is Folders in your cup.
Use the Force, Luke. Beware the Dark Side. My only love sprung from my
only hate. Not for use on children under 6 months of age. Comments? Call
1-800-WHO-GIVES, or contact Keriny of Ista Sea Hold. Joan of Arc was NOT
guilty, you little dippity-do's! Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio.
A man of infinate jest. Hark! What light from yonder window breaks? It
is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious
moon! I walk the maze of moments, but everywhere I turn to, begins a new
beginning, and never finds a finish. Let me sail, let me sail, let crash
upon your shores. Dark clouds all around, lightning, rain, pouring down.
Face down, on the ground, pick us up at the lost and find. Where's the
love? It's not enough, it makes the world go round and round, where's the
love, just give it up, it makes the world go round and round and round!
I love you always forever, near and far, close and together, every where
I will be with you, every thing I will do for you. If you can't work this
equation, I guess i'll have to show you the door. MMMbop! Sail away, sail
away, sail away! I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm
a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed, I'm your health, I'm your
dreams, I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other
way!! SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!!!! ooh, I want you, I don't know if need you,
but ooh I'm dying to find out. I'll tell you what I want what I really,
really want, So tell me what you want, what you really want, I wanna, a,
a, a, I wanna really, really, really, wanna say, a, say, ahh. This device
complies with part C of the Canadian Electronic Devices Act. Please return
seat backs to the upright position, and stow tray tables. The captain has
illuminated the seatbelt sign. I'll tell you what I want, what I really
really want. I wanna dance on your grave! That's what I want! Hi, We're
the Spice Girls, and you have Portland's hottest music on Z-100!! Kevin
Pelatt, are you out there? Sarah Schwindt does NOT get PMS, dammit! Student
of the Month=Suck-Up of the Month. Leap 2-3... The captain has lit the
seatbelt sign. Please return your seat backs and tray table to their upright
positions. Lord of the Dance is © 1997 or is it 96? by Unicorn entetainment.
All intelectual property in the fan fiction section is that of the author.
Author of web page will not assume any responsibilty of accidents incurred
while viewing certian pictures, storys and links (humoris mind you, noththing
more), though accidents incurred directly as a result of the main menu
on odd numbered Mondays in November are covered under the author's insurance
plan. This page makes large use of electrons, which are copyrighted ©
200,000,000 B.C. by GOD, all rights reserved. Any references to real people,
living, dead, or have eaten too much cheese cake are unintentional. Author
is not responsible for GUINNESS spilled on your keyboard. Remember, A happy
Flathead is a safe Flathead. Page sometimes will flicker on and off randomly
to keep epileptics on their toes. Netscape Navigator is © 1996 by
Netscape, which is in no way related to the movie The Net . People who
are offended by cute animated animals prancing about in a fictional tale
need to get out more. Lather, rinse, repeat; not responsible for water/shampoo
damage to keyboard. This page is not valid in Moya-land or on worlds other
than Earth,Dathomir,Phynix,Coran, Pern or where law prohibits. This page
may cause some southern Catholics to feel the urge to inflict the wrath
of God upon Collen Dunne, the author, and/or cute furry animals. Author
not responsible for turning your child into a "Flathead". This page will
cause some computers to violently vibrate and explode. The symbol "©"
is a registered tradenark ® of the Chicago Cubs. The symbol ® is
the corporate logo of Radio Shack. The author is not affiliated with Radio
Shack, and wishes that Radio Shacks everywhere would simultainiously implode,
taking all of the sleezy Radio Shack employees and overpriced merchandice
with them. The author does not actively endorse spontainious implosion.
No animals were harmed during the making of this page. Okay, so there were
a few, mainly RD directors. But not that many. And the author would have
harmed them anyways. Many electronic bugs were killed. If you suddenly
burst into flames while reading this page: Stop, Drop, and Dance. If the
contents of a printout of this page are swallowed, contact the nearest
poison center immediatly. If you decide to print this page, I pity your
printer. I have no clue what I'm doing, but I'm doing it well. Hey
Mr. Yahn, you're a toothpick factory on legs!! I can see clearly now, the
brain is gone... If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to
drown too? Don't trust a seventh grader, not on your life!!!!
The page you are now perusing is owned by a huge
and powerful corporation. We know who you are. We know that you're reading
this. We know what you're thinking. And we'll know if you even consider
trying to copy even the slightest idea or concept from this sign. We are
everywhere, and if you do copy us, we'll be forced to buy you, your company,
probably even your home state, and crush you like the ant that you are.
And that's just if we're in a good mood that day. You don't want that,
do you? Good. Now run along...
Let's Go Back HOME!!!!