Dear Kate:

Thank you for your order of one {1} basic hazel eyed,
MulderGlass attired, older, wiser, and better
groomed,  Armani clad, double scarred, fun to travel
with,  gourmet cooking, cell
recharging, vampire chick phobic, ditchless,
wifeless, well behaved, owner pleasing Ultimate II
model MulderClone.

As you are no doubt aware, selling actual living,
breathing people, cloned or otherwise, is not only
wrong, but rather illegal.  All our MulderClones,
therefore, are the highest quality VIRTUAL clones
that no money whatsoever can buy.

Your MulderClone,  #72,390, comes fully equipped with
a black leather couch, live goldfish {tank included},
a fully-functional security system, an un-losable
flashlight, an unbreakable camera, RayBans, a tan and
a grin, & a large can of Diana-B-Gone, all handy items.