1. How many shovenists does it take to open a can of beer?
A: None. The bitch better have it open when she hands it to me.
2. How do you give a woman an orgasm?
A: Who cares!
3. What's the definition of making love?
A: Something a woman does when a guy is fucking her.
4. Why do women fake orgasms?
A: They think we give a shit.
5. What do you tell a bitch with two black eyes?
A: Nothing. You already told her twice.
