Psychiatrists say 1 out of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're okay, you're it.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
"Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan, not a personal challenge.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggie," until you can find a rock.
