MY MOST EMBARASSING MOTHER MOMENT

DATE OF INCIDENT: November 26, 1999
STARTED: 9:14 am
FINISHED: 9:36 am

I officially just had my most embarrassing mother moment ever. Today, mom and I went out to pick up some groceries and get gas. We ended up pulling into a relatively small, but local Ultramar and drove next to the self serve pumps. Mom got out of the car to fill up the gas tank when she realized that she was at the wrong pump. The one we were next too only had the really expensive speciality gasses and we needed the regular. So she got back in the car and decided to wait for the genital man in the car ahead of us to finish at the pump with the regular gas.

As I was saying, we decided to wait for the man in front of us to finishes. The plan was to drive forward when he was done and use the pump. Who was practically taking up both pump stations to finish. This man was probably 50 some years old. After he finished, he went in to pay for his gas and came back out. He got in his car and started to fool around. Writing his mileage down or something. Mom and I waited and waited but he wouldn't move. She was already upset at him for practically parking in front of both pumps when we came in but now she was getting pissed because of his diddling.

Finally he waved his hand at us dismissively to back up so he could drive forward out of the gas station. Mom wouldn't back up because there wasn't enough room for our big truck behind us. Besides he had plenty of room to back up himself. Well then he started digging around the front seat of his car looking for something. He grabbed an empty plastic bag, got out of his car, walks around to the back of his car, opened his trunk and tosses the bag inside. By now mom and I realized that he was stalling on purpose to piss mom off.

Leaving his trunk wide open, he comes back to the front of the car and looks for something else to place in the back. He ended up grabbing a gum rapper or something, turning off his car, locking his door and walked behind the car. He tossed the paper inside the trunk before shutting it and moves out of site. Every now and then I see him poking his head out to see if we are still there. By now Mom's steaming and is swearing loudly inside the car. Joy! He comes back two minutes later to see if mom has moved. Being in one of her stubborn moods she wasn't going to budge so he went into the store and goofed off in there.

Mom started honking the horn and yelling at me about what a jack ass he was. I decided to open the door and ask one of the pump attendants if he could ask the man to move his car because he wasn't allowing anyone to use the pump. I told him he was doing it on purpose because he had already payed for his gas more than five minutes ago. After the pump jockey (who was sexy as hell) finished serving the lady he was with, he ran inside to talk to the man to see what the problem was. No one came back out.

Mom was fuming and yelled at me to go stand in front of his car so he couldn't move while she would try to maneuver to the other side of the pump which was now free. Of course I refused to stand in front of his car because this whole thing was really stupid. She yelled at me. Finally she made me get into the driver’s seat and move the car while she stood in front of his tiny car.

I should get an award for maneuvering our extended truck in such a compact space. I had to first back up into on coming traffic, drive past the man's car, try to make a very sharp U turn around the pump to the other side, all while trying to avoid a new car which had just arrived and a pedestrian.

Half way thought this overly complicated procedure, one of my old colleagues from when I worked at Zellers came out of the station’s store. I smiled and waved at her and she came over. We laughed a bit and she whispered how stubborn "that lady was" and I smiled and told her she was my mother. We both laughed at that. She and I started to talk but mom yelled over at me and told me to hurry up. So she and I said bye and had one more laugh before I made it to the other side of the pump.

In the end, it was such a tight squeeze that I ended up driving up onto the curb of the pump and had to squeeze my body between the truck and the pump meter to fill up the gas tank. To make matters even worse, I couldn't get the pump to work and mom started snapping at me. After six tries I managed to fill the tank up and went into pay.

Of course the end to this story wouldn't be complete if I didn't tell you that the girl behind the counter and I graduated together. Oi! Just my rotten luck. I made light of the situation and apologized for my mother's awful behavior. Jokingly, she asked me that after all this was over if mom would move to let the other customers use the pump. I laughed and said of course. Then I asked if she knew why the guy wouldn't move his car.

My former school mate said when the guy came into the store, he told everyone he wasn't going to move because he was having some kind of engine problem and couldn't put his car into reverse. Well that was a lame excuse! At the same moment outside he was telling mom how he had never before seen someone drive up to a pump and for not logical reason decided to sit around and use another one instead. They were throwing insults at each other the whole time I was inside paying for the gas. How embarrassing! I was so happy when we finally had our gas and drove off.

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