Forward There is always one in every high school. A person whose putrid body odor, disgusting eating habits, and general lack of personal hygiene makes it virtually impossible to stay in the same room with them for more than 30 seconds. What you are about to read is a tribute to one of these people. The Twelve Day's Before Christmas (Julie Version) and Julie The Snot Nosed Lardo were written in collaboration with D.J. Radcliff in December 1997. The name and gender of the offending party has been changed to protect the hygienically challenged. The Twelve Day's Before Christmas (Julie Version) Julie The Snot Nosed Lardo On the first day of Christmas we sent to Julie... A half dead Christmas Tree! On the second day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the third day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the fourth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the fifth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the sixth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the seventh day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the eighth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Eight ladies razors Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the nineth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Nine cans of slim fast, Eight ladies razors, Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tip, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the tenth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Ten flea collars, Nine cans of slim fast, Eight ladies razors, Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the eleventh day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Eleven sports bras, Ten flea collars, Nine cans of slim fast, Eight ladies razors, Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! On the twelveth day of Christmas we sent to Julie... Twelve turkey basters, Eleven sports bras, Ten flea collars, Nine cans of slim fast, Eight ladies razors, Seven maxi pads, Six breath mints, Five bars of soap, Four Q-Tips, Three sticks of deodorant, Two tooth brushes, And a half dead Christmas Tree! Oh You know Jason, and Slasher, and Freddy, and Chuckie, Pin head, and Carry, and Satan, and Barney, but do you recall the most gruesome monster of all? Ohhh, Julie the snot nose lardo...lardo had a very drippy nose...like a faucet and if you ever saw it...saw it you would say she needs to blow...use a kleenex All of the other students...students use to laugh and call her names...like retarded they never liked that Julie...Julie they wished she would just go away...for eternity Then one bleak and dismal day someone came to say Julie with your nose so wet why don't you move to Tibet Oh how the students loathed her...loathed her she made them want to run and scream...in terror they never liked that Julie...Julie and are happy she is a distant memory...WOO HOO!