Hi kids! Welcome to my jolly old web page of hobbies!!
You know the feeling, sitting on your own in the holidays with nothing to do, bored out of your wits. Well, when you get that feeling, don't just mope about, do something positive with your life! Get outside into the sunshine and have fun! On this page you will find some suggestions as to how this can be achieved. First off, the age old hobby for positive young people, Smoking...
Smoking Is Fun!!!
Now, some boring old fogies may say that smoking is bad, but don't listen! Smoking is fun and as an added bonus it helps your social compatibility and makes you look very cool indeed! In order to take up smoking as a hobby you will need:
A Packet of Cigarettes. I recomend 'Camel' because they have a jolly cool piccy of a camel on them(wow!)
A lighter or matches
When you have acquired these items, find a quiet spot and begin your smoke. First, open the packet and put a cigarette in your mouth. Then light the lighter or strike a match and hold the flame to the end of your cigarette. Breathe through the cigarette until the end glows then remove the flame. Well done, now you are smoking and all the girls will fancy you, then you can move onto another hobby which I will deal with in later issues of Fun Hobbies For Kids: Sexual Intercourse.
When you have mastered the art of smoking the range of hobbies open to you is almost limitless. The most popular hobby for young people today is the hugely enjoyable game of 'Hanging around on the street and getting pissed'. To find out more read on...
First assemble the players in a large huddle somewhere on the street, when the referee shouts, "You fuckin' Wanker", play begins. During the game, the entire team stand around drinking their cider and occasionally wandering to stand outside the off-license then returning to their original position. If during the game a rival team is spotted playing elsewhere on the street, added points are scored by walking past them and looking a bit threatening. The game ends when each player gets into a BMW and is driven home to the suburbs to have hot cocoa before bed.
NEXT ISSUE...
In the next issue of Fun Hobbies For kids you can learn about how to have a good and productive time with the hobby-tastic joys of: Taking Drugs and Shouting at your Parents. Happy Hobbying!
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