• The Teletubbies were a product of the Ultrax-eugenee project set up by the CIA in 1947 Drawing on the experience of Nazi scientists who had been given secret asylum after the second world War. The teletubbies were the first in a series of experiments to destroy the genes responsible for ageing. The Four products, nicknamed; ‘Tinky- Winky', ‘Dipsy', ‘Laa-Laa' and ‘Po', escaped from captivity at some point between May and September 1952 and remained at large until two years ago. The picture above shows the Teletubbie, Po. Now regarded as the assassin who fired the shot that killed JFK from the grassy knoll on Dealey Plaza, her seemingly happy face takes on an entirely new dimension.

• Po's history is one of many twists and turns. After escaping from the CIA laboratory, she learnt russian and left to live in comparative luxury as a darling of the soviet state. Aided by her strikingly ‘Red' hue, Po became a respected member of the communist party and continued her activities long after returning to the USA in 1961. In the days before the assassination Po was seen twice riding her scooter up and down Elm Street in Dallas by Mrs Enid Stockley who is quoted as saying: "I knew that the little red guy on the scooter just wasn't right, No man will ever convince me different!". On November 21st, Po paid for a target at the Dallas county ‘shoot'n'scoot' firing range. The proprietor noted the astonishing proficiency of her marksmanship: "Hell she done talk like a baby, but she shoot like a man!", he said in 1974. The final proof that Po was the ‘gunman behind the grassy knoll' is to be found in the polaroid photo taken by the then miss Mary Moorman. This photo showing the presidential motorcade milliseconds before the fatal shot contains a secret which can finally end the confusion once and for all.

• This picture shows in the foreground the presidential car, replete with dead president, First lady and state governor. The fact that the presidents head, as shown in the zapruder film, jerked right back when he was hit has led most people to the conclusion that the shot came from a position just to the right of the tree beside the three onlookers. However, closer analysis of the evidence reveals that the wound is not consistent with such a shot from a normal rifle. This can be explained when it is revealed that the CIA laboratory where the teletubbies spent their formative years had been broken into three nights before and a number of prototype exploding bullets had been stolen. The most probable explanation is that the fatal shot came from an area roughly parallel to the President from a rifle loaded with exploding bullets.

• In line with this the Moorman photograph was reexamined and suddenly the connection was spotted. In precisely the correct position behind the fence was the clearly discernible head of a teletubbie.

• This becomes even clearer when you look at the enlargement made.It shows quite clearly that the assassin has turned to make her getaway and that her shoulder is roughly in line with the wall. Measurements taken show that this means the assassin was approximately 4'6". As only one of the four teletubbies (ie. Po) is under 5 feet tall we could safely assume that Po was the guilty party. This conclusion also ties up the previously unexplained testimony of Mr. Roger McAlpine Jnr. Who told the Warren commision that he heard a little girl shout "RUN AWAY!, RUN AWAY!" but that when he turned around there was no one there. As for the conspiracy, In the light of the above proof, it becomes fairly obvious that the US Government was forced to find a ‘Patsy' to take the blame (in the guise of Lee Oswald) as prosecuting the guilty teletubbie would have put her under the spotlight and exposed the CIA's highly confidential experiment. It was alleged by an unnamed source to our researcher that Po actually gave herself up to the FBI, apparently walking into the lobby shouting: "I jus shoddeee presiden!" but was turned away and given a payment of Tubbie custard in return for her future silence. As yet this allegation has not been confirmed. It has also been alleged that Jack Ruby, The man who shot Lee Oswald, was really Tinky Winky in disguise. To date Teletubbie theory has also been linked by some to the assassinations of Robert Kennedy, Martin Luther King and the Attempt on Ronald Reagan.

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